A Travesty of Musical Proportions

[DigitalAbacus]

I just came from Amazon.com where I ordered ‘Grounded Bird’. I also
decided to re-purchase ‘Marvin, the Album’—which, as it turns out, has
become the most expensive album in my collection. This will be the
fifth copy of that album I have purchased over the years, since the CD
itself seems to be migratory. Oddly enough, I realize that the reason
it gets nicked so often is because I play it for people, and they want
to borrow it (albeit permanently sometimes)… yet I feel passionate
enough about ‘Marvin’ to not mind either the inconvenience or the
additional “maintenance” costs.

My only real dilemma is this: What do I do with the four empty
jewel cases? I can’t bring myself to just toss them away, and the new
owners of my CD’s have yet to contact me and request the cases. I
have, however, considered visiting the RIAA home office in Washington
D.C. and giving them a thoroughly ironic beating with the empty jewel
cases, but this would likely lead to George W. drafting a new anally
irrelevant paragraph for the Homeland Security Act prohibiting the
transport of small weapons-grade plastic cases across state lines.
Or, I suppose I go the green route and use the empty cases to
construct shelters for homeless Indigo Buntings (not that I’m aware of
any current housing crisis pertaining to that particular songbird… I’m
sure there are many displaced avian-types of vocal disposition in need
of new digs. I just happen to like their particular shade of blue).
This would also have the bonus effect of allowing the bird community
to have much-needed access to some of the liner notes and
illustrations from a former musical outfit from Australia—oddly
enough, I’ve heard rumor that the nation-wide songbird community is
considering an armed protest due to just such a lack of foreign liner
notes (a side note to investors: you may wish to consider buying
stock in any fledgling companies that deal in bird munitions).

In any event, I’m open to suggestion on this matter.

Cheers.