A note from ED Walter Landberg: Talking with children about tragedies
Walter Landberg
April 18, 2013
Dear Innovation Academy Friends and Families,
I hope this finds you and your family safe as this past week’s events continue to unfold. I wanted to take a moment to reach out to provide you with some thoughts on how to speak with children as we think about returning to school next week.
Below, please find resources from the National Association of School Psychologists, which has prepared tipsheets for parents and teachers to help children, teenagers and adults cope with tragic situations.
Remain calm and reassuring. Children will take their cues from you, especially young children. Acknowledge that the threats and uncertainty are unnerving but the likelihood is that you and your children or students will be okay. There is a difference between the possibility of danger and the probability of it affecting them personally.
Acknowledge and normalize their feelings. Allow children to discuss their feelings and concerns and encourage any questions they may have regarding this event. Listen and empathize. An empathetic listener is very important. Let them know that others are feeling the same way and that their reactions are normal and expected.
Take care of your own needs. Take time for yourself and try to deal with your own reactions to the situation as fully as possible. You will be better able to help your children if you are coping well. If you are anxious or upset, your children are more likely to be so as well. Talk to other adults such as family, friends, faith leaders, or a counselor. It is important not to dwell on your fears by yourself. Sharing feelings with others often makes us feel more connected and secure. Take care of your physical health. Make time, however small, to do things you enjoy.
Turn off or monitor the television. It is important to stay informed, but watching endless news programs is likely to heighten your anxiety and that of your children or students. Young children in particular cannot distinguish between images on T.V. and their personal reality. Older children may want to watch the news, but be available to discuss what they see and help put it into perspective.
Discuss events in age-appropriate terms. Share information that is appropriate to their age and developmental level. Update them as information changes. Young children may require repeated reassurance during the day. Tell them they are okay and that adults will always take care of them. School age children can understand details and reasons behind specific actions, such as increased security but cannot absorb intense or frightening information. Adolescents may want to discuss issues related to terrorism or war as well as safety issues.
Stick to the facts. Answer children's questions factually and include a positive element to answer, e.g., "Yes we are on high alert, but we have been here before. It does not mean that something bad will definitely happen." "Yes, there are more armed guards on our streets, but they are there to protect us." Don't speculate about what could happen.
The NASP has also created a website to help parents and teachers learn ways to talk to children about unsettling situations. Click here to visit it.
As we head back to school next week, we will focus on keeping our school days as normal as possible. I encourage you to reach out to me and/or other members of our faculty and staff team if you have questions or thoughts, or should you feel you need any assistance. Of course, please encourage children to do the same.
At IACS, we have made it a priority to be a small school where individuals can get the support they need when they need it. After this past week’s events, this seems like a good time to reiterate and remind the community of this important fact.
Most Sincerely,
Walter Landberg
Executive Director
Walter Landberg
Executive Director
Innovation Academy Charter School 978-649-0432, extension 2217
wlan...@innovationcharter.org