I only have tiny85s, but they're the same deal as 45s. Slapped it together and got it running. Minor edit to the makefile, and I had to patch the arduino ISP program to use it for uploading. Not clear on what the actual error messages/ uploading problem is. I'll email you my phone number and if you give me a call we can see what's up.
Couple questions:
Is the programmer timing out or are there protocol errors?
Are you using the arduino ide to upload the firmware?
Did you change the fuse settings on the tiny 45? (defaults from factory are fine)
Cheers,
Nick