Brett's June Post 2009

[Brett Kraus]

Okay, so I tried to post a longer thing, but it would not let me so
here is the short version. How do you start over when the worst
happens (aka, you become a quadriplegic, the victim of a serious
crime, end up in jail for the rest of your life, your post gets erased
by google etc.)?

[Scott Nesler]

You learn from your mistakes and hope to become wiser from the
experience. This is how I see loosing a long post. I think this
has been a blessing in my past. In some cases I've learned I really
didn't have anything to say. In other cases it motivated me to
write a better post.

When a post starts to get long, I cut and paste it into Open
Office. This allows me to strip out meaningless words, tone it
down, and refine the argument. It also prevents me from loosing the
post by accidentally killing the web browser or going to another web
page by accident. If you are lucky when accidentally moving to a
new web page before submitting, the text you typed will be saved in
cache. Clicking the previous arrow will some times restore your
text. Neither Firefox or Internet Explorer guarantees this.

As for serious issues, I would say I handle them similar to the
cycles of mourning death of a loved one. Understanding this cycle
helps put a better perspective on coping with the dilemma.

[Jeff Francis]

I think preparation is a huge key on this note.  No, one cannot really prepare for these things, at least not in a physical and detailed way, but asking one's self these questions is a start, i.e. "What would I do if was sent to prison for a long term?"  In asking myself this question now, I would be preparing my mind to deal the reality of that scenario. I don't have a plan, but my mind is not shocked by the occurrence of such an extreme and traumatizing event.

I sometimes play with the idea of losing a hand, or a sense like sight or hearing.  One thing I do to prepare my mind for the case that such a state were to fall upon me is to simply observe others in this state go about there day when I get the opportunity.  I can take such observations and apply them to my day.  Also, I just imagine myself in such a state and think of how my life would change from what it is now.

So, there's preparation, and no, that's not everything.  And this isn't even a plan it's really just the realization that "I am  not immune".  Another point I wanted to address is, Brett used the words, "How do you start over...". My personal opinion is that you don't really start over.  There is no such thing as a do-over in life, and a person can't start over.  One start anew, and this implies a transition from one phase to another, and that's exactly what happens.  My whole life doesn't change.  I don't get a new family, I don't necessarily get new friends, or a new job, or a new house.  I might, depending on the event.  So, you simply pass from one phase of one, or more, aspect of life to another (and generally, a "worst" scenario does affect multiple aspects of life).

[Jake Patterson]

This is a question I've wrestled with myself because I admire people
who deal with the onset of handicaps positively, and I know I'm not
like them. My biggest failing is that I feel like where I am now is
so tenuous and awful that if things suddenly became worse I would be
devestated. I would see the world as being even worse than crappy.

My thought is that one must be grateful for the situation one is in.
If I feel entitled to where I'm at or better, then if something
horrible happened I would feel wronged and angry. If I am grateful
for my circumstances then I can handle problems. Owning a grateful
attitude may be the best way to prepare, as Jeff talked about, for the
worst. If I do not feel entitled to my circumstances then I am
willing to work hard to make them good again, no matter what obstacle
I am facing.

[Brett Kraus]

That may be the answer, developing a powerful character. Positve
attitude, good work ethic, firmness, determination, loyalty, trust,
etc. There is a great story, about Dick Hoyt and his son Rick. Dick's
son was born handicapped to the point that doctors did not think
anything was going on upstairs, but the parents refused. They later
found out that the mind of their son was fine, and only the body was
broken.

At one point, the son wanted to support a friend who had been disabled
by participating in a charity run, but he could not move, let alone
run, so his dad, a self-proclaimed porker, pushed his son 5 miles. The
son said that while his dad pushed him, he did not feel disabled, so
the dad started to run. He has since run over 80 marathons, all while
pushing his son in a wheel-chair. Talk about dedication, the son has
developed empathy, charity and an awareness of the world.

What a powerful example. The power of the Father's and Son's character
shine through. I am sure that none of those people wanted bad things
to happen, but the change is not taking anything away. Perhaps it is
as simple as that, not a starting over, but a change in circumstances,
as Jeff Francis expressed it. Wow, hard work and determined effort.
Nothing is there.