Brett's March 2009 Post

[Brett Kraus]

Sorry I have been gone for a little while, we've moved to a place
without internet access, so I do not have as much opportunity to post
right now, but am working on getting access, and when that happens, I
will post a lot more on this site.

But for now, here is my query for the month...

A while back during a high school basketball game, a team pulled a
technical foul for playing a boy that was not on the team roster. The
boy had recently and tragically lost his mother, and the funeral was
either the day before the game or the morning of the game. He still
showed up after the game started and asked to be able to play. The
opposing team tried to decline the foul, but the ref insisted, so a
boy went out and basically tossed the ball so that it barely made it
half way to the key, clear intentional misses, just to let the kid
play.

Additionally, recently there was a high school girls basketball game
where the score was in the range of 100-0. The first number I am not
sure of, but the second is solid.

These incidents caused opposite reactions by the people commenting on
them. There seemed to be a shame for the win and a hero status for the
missed shots. Even my gut reaction comes to that conclusion.

Now we teach that excellence in what ever you do is the goal. We have
to be the best, we compete and set goals to win at all costs, we
applaud perfection and want people to show what they can do, why do we
scorn it in some cases, and applaud the failure to show excellence in
another, or is there something illogical, but purely emotional about
it (not that such a result would be bad)?

[empire...@gmail.com]

Competition is important and a way of life. Competition allows us to
make social measurements of our own level of excellence. The team
that scored 0 against the team that scored 100 now knows that they
have a lot to work on. They might have felt bad for the moment, but
if their coach was any sort of sportsman/woman at all, they would have
been guided to achieve better results and up their own standard.

But competition isn't everything. The ref in the first instance was
either biased toward one team or so bent on the rules he couldn't see
the point. I admire the other team's decision to rebel against the
ref's bullheadedness.

I suppose that when most people look at competitions in a case-by-case
basis they (the reasonable person) come to generally the same
conclusions. Society teaches us when to applaud competition and when
to scorn it. We like Cinderella stories. We hate those who trounce
the underdog. We like good sportsmanship. Competition is important
but the drama of players who bend the rules or excel is just as
important.

[Scott Nesler]

To add to Jake's comments, competition provides the motivation and
opportunity to move towards excellence. Approaching excellence in
anything provides the incentive and know how to succeed in other
aspects of life.

[Adam Webster]

I think we're missing something fundamental in Brett's query. The
people in Brett's first example were heralded because they learned how
to show excellence in something other than winning a game. That boy
playing in the game was more important to players on both teams than the
score was; competition took a back seat to camaraderie. We're supposed
to teach children excellence, but too many of us confuse that with
scoring points or outperforming someone. The constant need to not be
good but rather better than someone is what constitutes the sin of Pride
in Mormon theology. I try to live my life to avoid such things.

When I was serving an LDS mission in Argentina, a young man forever
changed the way I look at the world. I don't even think he knows it, but
it was profound for me. He was Elder Kartchner to me...and he was
annoying. We went through the training center at the same time but in
separate groups. We both awaited visas in Texas before going to
Argentina. We were both short and a bit doughy. He bothered the tar out
of me, but many of my associates saw him as my twin. They teased me
about it, and I let it bother me even more. Then, one day in Argentina,
I saw him at a conference. Someone who had not trained with us brought
up the similarities again. Again I was bothered. I felt agitated during
the two-hour bus trip home. Sitting in my kitchen away from everyone
else, I stewed about the issue. Some time that evening, it struck me: I
was competing with this man. What if he was annoyed by the similarities
too? What if he didn't want to be the other me? What if people were
actually comparing good things about us? The reason the comparison
bugged me was not that my friends were looking down on him. It was that
I was looking down on him, someone I barely knew. Right then, I
dedicated myself to live a non-competitive life. Rather than measure
myself against others, I measure myself against an ideal me. I haven't
reached that ideal yet, but I hope to someday. It makes me a happier
person, and I have Elder Kartchner to thank for it.

I still play sports every now and then, and Jake's wife still beats
me at board games. Winning is still fun, but in friendly competition,
losing isn't too bad either. In our capitalist society, we tend to
think that competition is what drives excellence. I disagree. If that
was true, "Wal-Mart" would be synonymous with "excellence."

[Scott Nesler]

When the tunnel vision goal of winning takes focus, respect is
discounted. Certain sports have rules to keep respect in check.
Hockey for one lets individuals beat each others brains out. This
goes a great distance in stopping showmanship. Over the years NFL
football has gotten much worse. As a teenager, I can remember Billy
Whiteshoes Johnson's endzone antics being the exception. For the
past ten years this behavior has become the rule. The NFL has
recently put rules in the game to penalize excessive jubilation.

I heard an interesting interview with Tony Dungy of the Indianapolis
Colts on NPR. Tony was asked what qualities the team looked for
when drafting a player. He said character. He gave the
example of the choice between Ryan Leaf and Payton Manning. The
Colts went back to each of these player's university and interviewed
people from the locker room. Most important in these interviews
was talks with the equipment manager. If a player could be
respectful to colleagues considered lower than themself on the totem
pole, they would make better teammates.

[Brett Kraus]

Maybe Adam and Scott have hit the nail on the head. Excellence in one
thing is great, but that focus is too narrow, one must excel at more
than just what they are specializing in. This reminds me of reading
something recently regarding success. Many people with high IQs fail
to succeed at their endeavors. They are brilliant, but cannot get
through reality. They can excel, but it is tough.

The report stated that there was a better test of success, which has
been labeled the EQ, or emotional quotient. This involves the ability
to interact with others, the level of trust you are able to put in
someone else, your ability to share personal thoughts with at least
one special confidant, and your willingness to care about another
person. The statistical correlation between high EQ and success is
greater than the statistical correlation between IQ and success.

The ability to focus emotionally and do what is right given the
emotional parameters is essential to being successful.

Perhaps the success we are cheering in these kids is the emotional
stress, and the concern we have with the others is the absence of
maturity given that situation. Perhaps we need to readjust our
measuring stick on success.