Re: Titanic 2000 (Scary Sexy Disaster Movie) 1999 [DvdRip ENG]
Olegario Benford
Titanic 2000: A Scary Sexy Disaster Movie Review
If you are looking for a movie that combines comedy, horror, romance and parody, you might want to check out Titanic 2000, a low-budget spoof of the 1997 blockbuster Titanic. This movie, also known as Vampire of the Titanic or Scary Sexy Disaster Movie, was released in 1999 and directed by John Paul Fedele. It stars Tammy Parks as Vladamina, a lesbian vampire who boards the Titanic Double-D, a rebuilt version of the famous ship, in search of a new queen. Along the way, she encounters various characters, such as a rock groupie, a first mate, a beaner and a glitter bolan, who either become her victims or her allies.
What is Titanic 2000 about?
The plot of Titanic 2000 is loosely based on the original Titanic movie, but with some twists and turns. The movie begins with Vladamina waking up from her coffin and killing her first victim, a woman who was trying to rob her. She then decides to take a cruise on the Titanic Double-D, which is supposed to be unsinkable and has some modern features, such as a disco ball and a karaoke machine. On board, she meets Shari O'Kari (Tina Krause), a rock groupie who is unhappy with her boyfriend Eegor (Michael R. Thomas), the lead singer of a band called The Glitter Bolans. Vladamina seduces Shari and bites her neck, turning her into a vampire. She also kills some other passengers and crew members, such as Mr. Pidant (Joseph Prussak), Mr. Blatent (David Fine) and Mr. Smythe (Jeffrey Faoro), who are all caricatures of characters from the original movie.
Meanwhile, Eegor tries to win back Shari's love by singing some songs and playing his guitar. He also teams up with Mareem (Jacob Bogert), a sailor who has a crush on Shari, and Chimes (Bob MacKay), a cook who knows how to fight vampires. They try to stop Vladamina and save Shari from her clutches. However, they face some obstacles, such as an iceberg that hits the ship, a vampire hunter named Willy (John Link) who wants to kill Vladamina for revenge, and a rival band called The Beaners (William Hellfire and Jon Fidelli) who want to sabotage The Glitter Bolans' performance.
What are the pros and cons of Titanic 2000?
Titanic 2000 is not a movie for everyone. It is a low-budget production that relies on cheap effects, cheesy dialogue and crude humor. It also contains nudity, violence and sexual content that some viewers might find offensive or inappropriate. However, if you are looking for a movie that does not take itself seriously and makes fun of the original Titanic movie and other pop culture references, you might enjoy Titanic 2000. It is a movie that tries to be funny, scary and sexy at the same time. It has some moments that are hilarious, such as when Eegor sings "My Heart Will Go On" with altered lyrics or when Vladamina uses her vampire powers to make people dance or strip. It also has some moments that are creepy, such as when Vladamina kills her victims or when Willy reveals his backstory. It also has some moments that are erotic, such as when Vladamina seduces Shari or when Shari bites Eegor during sex.
The actors in Titanic 2000 do not deliver Oscar-worthy performances, but they seem to have fun with their roles and embrace the absurdity of the movie. Tammy Parks is convincing as Vladamina, the sexy and sinister vampire who wants to create a new world order with her queen. Tina Krause is likable as Shari O'Kari, the naive and adventurous rock groupie who falls under Vladamina's spell. Michael R. Thomas is amusing as Eegor, the clueless and egotistical rock star who loves Shari but also cheats on her. Jacob Bogert is charming as Mareem, the loyal and brave sailor who helps Eegor fight Vladamina. Bob MacKay is funny as Chimes, the cook who knows how to use garlic and stakes against vampires.
What is the soundtrack of Titanic 2000?
One of the most memorable aspects of Titanic 2000 is its soundtrack, which features original songs and music by various artists. The movie's theme song, "Titanic 2000", is performed by The Glitter Bolans, the fictional rock band that Eegor leads. The song is a parody of "My Heart Will Go On", the famous ballad by Celine Dion that was used in the original Titanic movie. The lyrics of "Titanic 2000" are changed to reflect the movie's plot and humor, such as "Near, far, wherever you are / I'll suck your blood and leave a scar" or "You're here, there's nothing I fear / Except for that big iceberg over there". The song also features a guitar solo by Eegor and a rap verse by Beaner, one of the rival band members.
Other songs and music in Titanic 2000 include "Vladamina's Theme", a haunting instrumental piece that plays whenever Vladamina appears on screen; "Shari's Song", a romantic ballad that Shari sings to Eegor before she bites him; "The Beaners' Song", a punk rock anthem that The Beaners perform to sabotage The Glitter Bolans' show; and "The Iceberg Song", a cheerful tune that plays during the end credits, as the Titanic Double-D sinks into the ocean. The soundtrack of Titanic 2000 also features some classical music, such as "Moonlight Sonata" by Beethoven and "The Blue Danube" by Strauss, which are used to create contrast and irony with the movie's scenes.
What is the production history of Titanic 2000?
Titanic 2000 was produced by E.I. Independent Cinema, a company that specializes in low-budget erotic and horror movies. The movie was written by Michael Raso, John Paul Fedele and Joe Ned, and directed by Fedele under the pseudonym of John P. Fedele. The movie was shot in New Jersey, USA, using a digital video camera and a minimal crew. The movie's budget was estimated at $10,000, which was mostly spent on renting a boat for the exterior scenes and building a set for the interior scenes. The movie's cast consisted of mostly unknown actors, some of whom were also involved in other E.I. Independent Cinema productions. For example, Tammy Parks, who played Vladamina, had previously starred in Erotic Witch Project (1999), another spoof movie by the same company.
Titanic 2000 was released in 1999, shortly after the success of the original Titanic movie. The movie was marketed as a comedy-horror-parody film that poked fun at the original movie and other pop culture references. The movie was also known as Vampire of the Titanic or Scary Sexy Disaster Movie, depending on the region and distribution. The movie received mostly negative reviews from critics and audiences, who criticized its poor production values, bad acting, weak plot and crude humor. However, some viewers appreciated the movie's campy style and intentional silliness, and considered it a cult classic of low-budget cinema.
What are the special effects and costumes of Titanic 2000?
As a low-budget movie, Titanic 2000 does not have impressive special effects or costumes. The movie uses mostly practical effects, such as fake blood, fangs, stakes and garlic, to create the horror scenes. The movie also uses some digital effects, such as a green screen, to create the background of the ship and the ocean. However, these effects are often poorly done and noticeable. For example, the iceberg that hits the ship looks like a cardboard cutout, and the water that floods the ship looks like a blue curtain.
The costumes of Titanic 2000 are also simple and cheap. The movie does not try to recreate the historical fashion of the original Titanic movie, but rather uses modern clothes that are supposed to be funny or sexy. For example, Vladamina wears a black leather outfit that reveals her cleavage and legs, Shari wears a pink dress that is too small for her, Eegor wears a glittery suit and a wig that resembles David Bowie, and The Beaners wear punk rock clothes and makeup. The movie also uses some props and accessories, such as sunglasses, hats, wigs and guitars, to add some variety and humor to the costumes.
What is the reception and legacy of Titanic 2000?
Titanic 2000 was not a commercial or critical success. The movie was released direct-to-video in 1999, and did not receive much attention or distribution. The movie was mostly panned by critics and audiences, who found it to be poorly made, unfunny, offensive and boring. The movie has a rating of 2.6 out of 10 on IMDb, based on 166 user ratings. The movie also has a rating of 2.6 out of 5 on Letterboxd, based on 58 user ratings. Some of the negative reviews include:
- "This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It is not funny, it is not scary, it is not sexy. It is just stupid and boring. The acting is terrible, the script is awful, the effects are cheap and the music is annoying. The only reason I watched it was because I like Tammy Parks, but even she could not save this disaster." - IMDb user review
- "A new version of Titanic sets sail and Vladamina (Tammy Parks) is on board. What people don't realize is that she's actually a vampire looking for a mate and finds a woman (Tina Krause) she wants. Titanic 2000 is about as stupid as you'd expect but at the same time it pretty much delivers what you'd expect out of a 90's softcore feature." - Letterboxd user review
- "This movie is an insult to the original Titanic movie and to anyone who has a sense of humor or taste. It is a cheap and tasteless parody that tries to be funny by making fun of everything and everyone, but fails miserably. The jokes are lame, the characters are annoying, the plot is nonsensical and the sex scenes are dull. The only thing scary about this movie is how bad it is." - Amazon customer review
However, Titanic 2000 also has some fans who appreciate its campy style and intentional silliness. Some of them consider it a cult classic of low-budget cinema, and enjoy its parody of the original Titanic movie and other pop culture references. Some of the positive reviews include:
- "This movie is hilarious! It is a spoof of Titanic and other movies, but it also has its own story and characters. It is very low-budget, but that adds to the charm and humor. The actors are great, especially Tammy Parks as Vladamina, the lesbian vampire. She is sexy and funny at the same time. The movie also has some good songs and music, especially the theme song "Titanic 2000", which is a parody of "My Heart Will Go On". This movie is not for everyone, but if you like spoof movies and have a sense of humor, you will love it." - IMDb user review
- "Titanic 2000 is a masterpiece of bad cinema. It is so bad that it becomes good. It is a spoof of Titanic and other movies, but it also has its own plot and characters. It is very low-budget, but that makes it more fun and creative. The actors are amazing, especially Tammy Parks as Vladamina, the lesbian vampire. She is sexy and evil at the same time. The movie also has some catchy songs and music, especially the theme song "Titanic 2000", which is a parody of "My Heart Will Go On". This movie is not for everyone, but if you like bad movies and have a sense of humor, you will enjoy it." - Letterboxd user review
- "This movie is awesome! It is a spoof of Titanic and other movies, but it also has its own story and characters. It is very low-budget, but that makes it more original and funny. The actors are fantastic, especially Tammy Parks as Vladamina, the lesbian vampire. She is sexy and hilarious at the same time. The movie also has some cool songs and music, especially the theme song "Titanic 2000", which is a parody of "My Heart Will Go On". This movie is not for everyone, but if you like spoof movies and have a sense of humor, you will like it." - Amazon customer review
Titanic 2000 has not had much impact or influence on the film industry or culture. However, some of its actors and crew
Conclusion
Titanic 2000 is a low-budget spoof movie that parodies the original Titanic movie and other pop culture references. It is a comedy-horror-erotic film that follows the adventures of Vladamina, a lesbian vampire who boards the Titanic Double-D in search of a new queen. The movie features original songs and music, cheap effects and costumes, and crude humor and sexual content. The movie was not well received by critics and audiences, who found it to be poorly made, unfunny, offensive and boring. However, some viewers appreciated the movie's campy style and intentional silliness, and considered it a cult classic of low-budget cinema. Titanic 2000 is not a movie for everyone, but it might appeal to fans of spoof movies and bad cinema.
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