Holy Rule for March 7

[St. Mary's Monastery]

+PAX
Br. Jerome Leo’s Daily Reflection on the Holy Rule

March 7, July 7, November 6
Chapter 30: How Boys Are to Be Corrected

Every age and degree of understanding should have its proper measure of discipline. With regard to boys and adolescents, therefore, or those who cannot understand the seriousness of the penalty of excommunication, whenever such as these are delinquent let them be subjected to severe fasts or brought to terms by harsh beatings, that they may be cured.

REFLECTION

While I often suffer from the loneliness of being single, I never, ever regret the fact that I am childless. Quite the reverse! I always find myself deeply grateful that I have not had to face the challenge of raising children. I have the deepest respect for those who do. Having taught for a while, I know all too well how daunting it can be, even just part-time in the classroom.

I also know from teaching that, while we did not use corporal punishment at all, there were a few rare times when I wished that we could. There were some children that I felt that possibly nothing else could reach. I also know that was something of a cop-out on my part to even entertain such thoughts. At the end of one's rope, all manner of drastic things pop into one's head. I am in no way sure that any use of violence doesn't just breed more violence, in fact, it probably does. Change effected only by fear is not usually lasting or good.

Faced with such a problem, I don't know what one does, other than hope and pray, literally, that the child will improve. Praying, we must always recall *IS* doing something, not mere passivity! I can assure you that, just as there are deeply toxic adults, there are, alas, toxic children, too. I know. I have taught at least one. I don't mean that we should stoop to violence, but how does one reach such a child? I have never been able to answer that.

We are social primates. We have a cross and burden to bear for our elevation above the rest of the primate world, a responsibility. For a baboon troop, this is a no-brainer: drive the loser out of the troop. After that, the next stop is the Lions' Pride Cafe and one becomes an entree. Tempting as that kind of abdication may be, it is something to which we can never resort.

I think we need to cling to the Benedictine model in such situations: punish only to reform, not for revenge, not to destroy. Punish appropriately, moderately in ways that will be understood and that fit the offense justly. When all that fails (and even before, while we're watching it fail slowly!) PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! Praying is NOT doing nothing. And it is often the only tool we have.

Br. Jerome Leo Hughes, OSB (RIP)