St. Mary's Monastery
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Br. Jerome Leo’s Daily Reflection on the Holy Rule
April 27, August 27,
December 27
Chapter 69: That the Monks Presume Not to Defend One Another
Care must be taken that no monk presume on any ground to defend another monk in
the monastery, or as it were to take him under his protection, even though they
be united by some tie of blood-relationship. Let not the monks dare to do this
in any way whatsoever, because it may give rise to most serious scandals. But
if anyone breaks this rule, let him be severely punished.
REFLECTION
We are all
supposed to bear one another's burdens. That should be more than enough
help for anyone, if we actually keep that principle.
A big
problem with becoming the protector of another, self-appointed or otherwise, is
that it destroys one's peace needlessly. When I was a novice, there
was one other novice I really did not want to lose. He was not the
brightest bulb on the tree and I went out of my way to protect him from
himself. In time, he came to resent this and I was so busy worrying
about covering or preventing his foibles all the time that I spent little time
focusing on my own novitiate. Of course, he left. Perhaps he was supposed to leave.
I, however, could not see that at the time.
This isn't
just about monasteries, it's about any human group. Taking someone under our
wing can result in all sorts of false assumptions. It can fool us
into thinking we can really control events more than we can. It can
lead us, a la Mother Hen, to seek to control the one under wing in
very unnecessary and unhealthy ways. Its most common error is also one
of its most dangerous ones: it leads us to think in terms of
"us-and-them." There is no "them" in a healthy monastery,
only an
"us".
A further
problem is that God wills or permits things for a person's good that may seem
awful to us. Whatever befalls us, God can and does use it to our ultimate
salvation, our greatest good. When our own limited and false view of
things decides to protect another from such workings as are truly of God, we
have placed ourselves in a downright horrible position. What galling nerve on
our part to assume that we know better than God, that it is our "providence"
and not His that ought to triumph.
As usual,
what the Holy Rule insists we avoid is an extreme. This chapter is NOT
saying we should not look out for one another, just that no one
should presume that the job is hers or his alone. Good families protect
all their members, but it is a corporate activity, something in
which all participate. Destroy that balance and others will notice
quickly. It upsets the inner peace, both of the individual and the group.
Part of any
monastic's struggle, in cloister or in the world, is the painful facing up
to ourselves, that confrontation with our own flaws. This difficult self-knowledge
is essential to the monastic way. Trying to protect someone from this process
is counter to the very reason they came. It not only harms them, it harms us,
by keeping
us so busy with another's affairs that we can avoid looking within at our own
failings.
Merton once
told his junior monk students that there is an existential place of loneliness in
every monk that no one can touch, and that this is the way it's supposed to be, that
no one should try to reach it. That's where the struggle goes on, that's where
there is only God and the self. That's the arena in which the action happens.
Every
person, every employee, every spouse and child has a similar place: it is the
place of potential learning and growth. Our deep respect for one another must
stand away from that space. Becoming self-appointed guardians of another
violates that space.
Br. Jerome Leo Hughes, OSB (RIP)