Holy Rule for December 26
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St. Mary's Monastery
Dec 25, 2025, 4:38:24 PM12/25/25
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Br. Jerome Leo’s Daily Reflection on the Holy Rule
April 26, August 26, December 26
Chapter 68: If a Sister Is Commanded to Do Impossible Things
If it happens that difficult or impossible tasks are laid on a sister, let her nevertheless receive the order of the one in authority with all meekness and obedience. But if she sees that the weight of the burden altogether exceeds the limit of her strength, let her submit the reasons for her inability to the one who is over her in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride, resistance, or contradiction. And if after these representations the Superior still persists in her decision and command, let the subject know that this is for her good, and let her obey out of love, trusting in the help of God.
REFLECTION
The method given here for approaching one's superior is a masterpiece of crisis intervention and prevention for almost any situation in life: "...in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride, resistance, or contradiction."
We ought to carve that on the walls of every mediation center in the world, on the doors to every marriage counselor and above every complaint desk (or, as they euphemize them these days, "Customer Service," but what's in a name?)
Look at what is called for here: composure and calm, timing, respect for the other person (Gandhi would even say love for the foe,) non-violence and non-contentiousness. Use this approach with disagreements and many of them will melt away. One reason Gandhi's non-violence worked was that he employed all of these things, the opponent was never denied her worth or dignity. When his followers pared the list, they failed. This is the recipe for lasting results, not for a temporary subjugation.
Jesus, of course, gives us a three step process to redress wrongs: go to the person alone, if that doesn't work go with a witness, if even that fails, then haul them up before the whole assembly. We can consider ourselves absolved if we follow all those steps and may feel justified, but if we undertake ANY of those steps, especially the first one, without the calm prescribed by St. Benedict, our effort is all but guaranteed to fail. We can sputter out: "I went to her and I got NOWHERE!" Ah, yes, but HOW did you go? "He wouldn't even listen to the whole community!" Neither would you, if made to feel that small and worthless in public.
Very often our manner of dealing with others says a great deal about how we esteem ourselves. A balanced dignity and self-love is shown in the Holy Rule's approach. It will go a longer way toward ending conflict than a "wronged prima donna" move. Sometimes prima donnas of either gender are filled with angry self-hatred.
Watch people fight and it will be easy to see that many consider any slight or offense against themselves to be THE original sin. Sigh... Give people like that a lot of room. Being wrong is not a capital offense, everybody does it at one time or another. People who demonstrate anything else by their actions damage their own standing in the group as well, and rightly so.
Remember that every disagreement hurts the whole group. A family at dinner with two not speaking is a tense affair. You cannot calm a child by saying "This is between your Father and me! It has nothing to do with you." But it does, it really does. A community in choir after a huge blow-up between two members is not an exquisite taste of mystical prayer. Everybody suffers. That's why fixing these fender-benders is so important and why St. Benedict gave us a way that is so very likely to achieve results.
Now THAT'S creative peacemaking!
Br. Jerome Leo Hughes, OSB (RIP)
Br. Jerome Leo’s Daily Reflection on the Holy Rule
April 26, August 26, December 26
Chapter 68: If a Sister Is Commanded to Do Impossible Things
If it happens that difficult or impossible tasks are laid on a sister, let her nevertheless receive the order of the one in authority with all meekness and obedience. But if she sees that the weight of the burden altogether exceeds the limit of her strength, let her submit the reasons for her inability to the one who is over her in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride, resistance, or contradiction. And if after these representations the Superior still persists in her decision and command, let the subject know that this is for her good, and let her obey out of love, trusting in the help of God.
REFLECTION
The method given here for approaching one's superior is a masterpiece of crisis intervention and prevention for almost any situation in life: "...in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride, resistance, or contradiction."
We ought to carve that on the walls of every mediation center in the world, on the doors to every marriage counselor and above every complaint desk (or, as they euphemize them these days, "Customer Service," but what's in a name?)
Look at what is called for here: composure and calm, timing, respect for the other person (Gandhi would even say love for the foe,) non-violence and non-contentiousness. Use this approach with disagreements and many of them will melt away. One reason Gandhi's non-violence worked was that he employed all of these things, the opponent was never denied her worth or dignity. When his followers pared the list, they failed. This is the recipe for lasting results, not for a temporary subjugation.
Jesus, of course, gives us a three step process to redress wrongs: go to the person alone, if that doesn't work go with a witness, if even that fails, then haul them up before the whole assembly. We can consider ourselves absolved if we follow all those steps and may feel justified, but if we undertake ANY of those steps, especially the first one, without the calm prescribed by St. Benedict, our effort is all but guaranteed to fail. We can sputter out: "I went to her and I got NOWHERE!" Ah, yes, but HOW did you go? "He wouldn't even listen to the whole community!" Neither would you, if made to feel that small and worthless in public.
Very often our manner of dealing with others says a great deal about how we esteem ourselves. A balanced dignity and self-love is shown in the Holy Rule's approach. It will go a longer way toward ending conflict than a "wronged prima donna" move. Sometimes prima donnas of either gender are filled with angry self-hatred.
Watch people fight and it will be easy to see that many consider any slight or offense against themselves to be THE original sin. Sigh... Give people like that a lot of room. Being wrong is not a capital offense, everybody does it at one time or another. People who demonstrate anything else by their actions damage their own standing in the group as well, and rightly so.
Remember that every disagreement hurts the whole group. A family at dinner with two not speaking is a tense affair. You cannot calm a child by saying "This is between your Father and me! It has nothing to do with you." But it does, it really does. A community in choir after a huge blow-up between two members is not an exquisite taste of mystical prayer. Everybody suffers. That's why fixing these fender-benders is so important and why St. Benedict gave us a way that is so very likely to achieve results.
Now THAT'S creative peacemaking!
Br. Jerome Leo Hughes, OSB (RIP)
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