Younger generation and stress management

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Anindita Dutt, Ph.D.

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May 20, 2015, 2:02:56 AM5/20/15
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I just heard that a young girl who had appeared for her Class X boards has been hospitalised. She had a dream the night before her results where published that she had achieved 45% in all her subjects. She got so hung over her dream that she started having vomiting and diarrhoea. Even after knowing she has scored 75% in her exam, her condition did not improve and her family had to hospitalise her. They found to their horror her haemoglobin has plunged to 4.0, Urea has shot up to 152 and her kidney has shut down - she has no history of nervousness. She is presently on dialysis. 

I think it has been more than a year now, a young man entered his apartment and found his girlfriend murdered. Instead of standing by his girlfriend's parents, he went into such a state of shock he died in a few months time. Sadly he was the only healthy child of his parents, his younger brother being mentally challenged. 

In both these cases, the mental state of the parents and grandparents is indescribable. We postpone marriage and have kids late in hope that we will be matured parents, and yet our kids are ill-equipped to face life. Our previous generations got married and took on responsibilities we can only read about when they were in their late teens and early twenties.  

I am sharing these experiences with this group in hope that maybe there is something we can do to help the youngest generation handle stress better. There are far bigger challenges in life than ClassX finals. This little girl did pretty well, but even if she failed - it is not the end of life? History is replete with academic failures who became extremely successful. But how do make the kids see that? Or is it our limited vision and fears which we are imposing on them?

Regards,
Anindita

Satwik Joglekar

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May 20, 2015, 2:25:09 AM5/20/15
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Good point Anindita... and i think the parents and the society is also equally at fault in pressurizing these kids...

I think Swami Ystiswarananda had foreseen this "degeneration" and that's why he was more interested in grooming the children - making them strong - physically-mentally-spiritually... with that intention he started the Vivekananda Balaka Sangha!

Jai Maa!!!

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Anita Sinha

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May 20, 2015, 5:52:26 AM5/20/15
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After reading your post only one thing comes to mind. A shlok from the Upanishads -
" Srinvantu vishye amritasya putraha
Vidya dhamani tastu
Vedahametam Purusham mahantam
Adityavaranam tamasoparastat
Twameva viditwati mrityumeti
Nanya pantha vidyate ayanaya.

Oh! Children of bliss! Please listen!
That ancient being, mentioned in the Vedas, who is beyond all knowledge,
Who is as luminous as a million suns and knowing whom,
Will help us transcend the darkness of ignorance, and
The illusion of life and death.
There is no other path ( to rise above all earthly limitations ) but this.

This shlok has, in my darkest moments, given me hope and brought me solace.
I wish I could bring this song celestial, this ancient, gentle beat of the drums,
beating within all of us, bringing us peace and harmony and rest deep within our souls,
to all our children and young people. It would put an end to all grief and misery and there would be no more souls lost.

anindi...@gmail.com

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May 20, 2015, 6:01:23 AM5/20/15
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Yes, there are slokas and mantra for moments we feel insecure, but the point I am trying to make is that - there is nothing "dark" about class X exam results... Helping kids understand that unless one is clinically dead - life always continues...

It is perhaps the modern consumer culture that one expects to be happy and high all the time, and any heart-breaking event is considered an end of life moment. It is therefore important to communicate to kids and young adults that sadness, grief, setbacks - are very fundamental to life, therefore very natural.

In fact I remember Buddha more than anybody else - if you are born you will encounter suffering. We always find it easier to handle what we expect, than the unexpected.

Regards,
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

From: Anita Sinha <inners...@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 20 May 2015 10:52:24 +0100
Subject: Re: [Devotees of Holy Trio] Younger generation and stress management

AKASH

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May 20, 2015, 6:02:28 AM5/20/15
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With Warm Regards
Akash Deep



Anita Sinha

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May 20, 2015, 6:30:16 AM5/20/15
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The fear of not doing well in the boards could seem trivial to you and me and for many others who have been achievers in the academic field, but for young people it is very real.
Specially for those who are not from privileged backgrounds. Not getting subject of choice, not getting admission in a good college, all lead to that terrifying dark place - what will my future be? Children do not see the big picture that is why sometimes the consequences are quite grim. Parents have a major role to play here. We need more schools and colleges and more courses and opportunities for those who are not academically inclined. The society has to be educated so that it does not look down on those who are differently abled. But all this will take time and in the meanwhile I wish I could take our children to a better place and give them the love and protection that they deserve.

Anindita Dutt

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May 20, 2015, 10:07:30 AM5/20/15
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While underscoring the need to good well, my father always said two things to us - 

#1. Don't do anything at the cost of your health. It is not worth it. 
Anxious parents can ask themselves this one question every time they get worried - If I lose my child (physically or emotionally) in trying to win the rat race, will it still be worth it?

#2. Don't change your lifestyle 
If parents can wean themselves and their children off the belief that they "need" the european car, or the largest, latest flatscreen or the foreign holiday every year -- suddenly that CEO role or senior VP role won't feel as necessary any more. 

A senior and well regarded monk told me - "Anindita before every decision ask yourself this one question - What is the price of this decision to my soul?"

Parents do not acknowledge that uncalculated price to the soul of their child (not to mention their health) in aiming for the fancy job in the name of security, in the name of trying to make parents happy.  

A young Indian couple who had their first child asked me, "Do you think he will make it to Stanford?" I couldn't help but tell them, -- It is not your job to impose your dreams on the child, but to find out what the child is best at, and to help him shine the best he/she can shine.."

Regards,

Anindita Dutt

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May 20, 2015, 10:08:33 AM5/20/15
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While underscoring the need to do well, my father always said two things to us - 

#1. Don't do anything at the cost of your health. It is not worth it. 
Anxious parents can ask themselves this one question every time they get worried - If I lose my child (physically or emotionally) in trying to win the rat race, will it still be worth it?

#2. Don't change your lifestyle 
If parents can wean themselves and their children off the belief that they "need" the european car, or the largest, latest flatscreen or the foreign holiday every year -- suddenly that CEO role or senior VP role won't feel as necessary any more. 

A senior and well regarded monk told me - "Anindita before every decision ask yourself this one question - What is the price of this decision to my soul?"

Parents do not acknowledge that uncalculated price to the soul of their child (not to mention their health) in aiming for the fancy job in the name of security, in the name of trying to make parents happy.  

A young Indian couple who had their first child asked me, "Do you think he will make it to Stanford?" I couldn't help but tell them, -- It is not your job to impose your dreams on the child, but to find out what the child is best at, and to help him shine the best he/she can shine.."

Regards,
On Wed, May 20, 2015 at 4:00 PM, Anita Sinha <inners...@gmail.com> wrote:

Sucheta Ghosh

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May 21, 2015, 7:26:13 AM5/21/15
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