Hollywoodscript.com Newsletter
Craig Kellem
which is published by script consultants Craig Kellem, Judy Kellem
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NEXT NEWSLETTER will be dedicated to answering your questions so
please send them in . We get questions that range from how many brads
you should use to ones like this:
Q-WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "BASED ON" AND "INSPIRED BY?"
A-"BASED ON"...IS USUALLY USED WHEN THE MATERIAL'S REASONABLY CLOSE TO THE TRUTH
"INSPIRED BY..." IS OFTEN USED WHEN IT'S NOT, BUT WHEN YOU WANT IT TO
SEEM TO BE .
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CAN YOU BE TOO FUNNY?
We recently worked with a writer who had written a promising script in
theory that is. Problem was that it was too broad. He tried way too
hard to be funny which, believe it or not, can be a real issue. Comedy
(even when you laugh and laugh often), that is hard to believe and
that's constantly trying to be more and more hysterical, can easily
fall into the trouble zone because this route can compromise critical
reality.
It seemed to me that it could be a really good script but, no matter
what I said, he couldn't seem to divorce himself from "funny."
So I asked him to do something that might have seemed strange at the
time. It was to do a "beat sheet" noting all the major story
components of the script AS IS but to play it out ONLY AS A DRAMA.
This was the one "rule."
And I asked him to trust me.
What came back was quite remarkable. A really fine story which had
been hiding under all the schtick emerged as if by magic. It was now
an offbeat, good natured action piece, with lots of assets including
some excellent twists and turns. And now the script seemed reasonably
believable. Sure it was still funny but things were in much better
proportion and you could BELIEVE IT.
So the new mandate for the actual writing of this script was now very
apparent-- to rewrite the script using this reasonable reality as its
basis. (The best comedy uses reality as its predicate and takes
generously from all areas of life. This is usually much more potent
than usage of just one dimension. Just ask Jim Brooks).
Can't wait to read the draft. I'm very optimistic.
This was a good exercise. You may want to try it sometime.
__________________
SO WHAT COULD THIS POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO WITH A SCRIPT CONSULTATION?
By Craig Kellem
I hired a couple of local gents a while back to help clean around a
duct that's been blocked up on our property. We have a small stream
which is nice but this blockage is the part that's not so nice.
Don't ask what a pain in the butt this whole deal had been, mostly
because the state hasn't done their duty in keeping the duct clean and
clear from the dirt and sand that's used on our road, during the
winter and runs off you know where
(ie: our place) in the spring.
So I anxiously awaited their arrival.
So who's John M? He's the only guy I know who seems to drive around in
his own back hoe as if it were a Corvette or something. He's also the
guy who found our well via dowsing when we first moved in. Was that
ever a sight! I discovered long ago that this is one smart and crafty
hombre. And he's also colorful as hell. Usually comes bare-chested,
straggly beard, adorned by his lucky hat (don't ask!) and sports a
wonderful and always elusive shit-eating grin. He came with his
associate (and boss) Morty who's actually quite a player around here.
Although they share the boss and employee titles, they rag on each
other all day like brothers. Morty told me with a twinkle in his eye
that it makes him sick to sign John's paycheck so he asks his wife to
do it, and then steps outside so he doesn't have to watch.
We discussed all of the various strategies for the task at hand which
now had other annoying issues as a result of the excessive water that
had built up. Facing it was worse than having to write a synopsis, if
you know what I mean.
The date was set to make it all happen.
So I waited and waited.
Old city habits die hard, folks. But, round here, people show up when
they're good and ready. This goes double for these guys. Fact is, you
wait for them just like you would for big time heart surgeons.
The big day finally arrived. There was the big mama backhoe-so
majestic that it required the services of a flatbed truck to usher it
in. My dog hated the sound of it. But for me it was like hearing good
music.
I wanted this fixed and now.
The guys went to work and just as I predicted, a few scoops of the
dirt and sand around the duct did wonders.
Progress made, but there was a glitch.
Yes, some of the water flowed through the duct, but not with the
cheerful velocity of the past. I won't bore you with the details. But
things were not as perfect as I had hoped.
At this point, most practitioners of these services would have been
close to saying adios. After all, they did what I had asked,
accomplished a reasonable amount, and were not getting bonus money for
having to hang around a worried, irritating proprietor, namely me.
But not these guys. They figured there must be an extra blockage under
the street and started to formulate a plan. Long story short, they
came back with a jerry-rigged kind of reeming-type pole that they then
managed to connect the
long way and then started to do a nasty exploration. It should be
noted that from all the mud and junk they were accumulating, they were
also beginning to resemble coal
miners.
It took time. Often felt hopeless. Where did they get the stamina? Why
didn't they just take off and end the ordeal I wondered?
But boy was it fun when things really started to happen. Hunks of dirt
began coming out of the other end. Mr Clean would have been proud. And
then the water started to flow. What a pleasant sight!
While doing all of this, these two angels with world class bum-crack
insulted each other cheerfully, told corny jokes, were patient with me
and got into contorted positions only obsessed archaeologists would
allow themselves to assume.
So you ask, what does this have to do with writing scripts and
consulting on them?
Everything!
These men offered an inspiring and lasting model for what writers can
do if we are truly willing to dig in deep, give a thousand percent and
allow ourselves to get down and dirty. Work ethic and commitment go a
long way, folks.
And I have the same lesson to learn from them as a consultant. These
guys came because this is how they earn their living, but they offered
so much more in their generous and thorough responsiveness and went
way beyond the call of duty in doing all they could to make what
seemed so hard and impossible, possible. I marveled at their
willingness to get dug in and how no step was left untried. Indeed,
they worked on my problem the way they would have worked on their own.
There definitely was a refreshing element of love and service behind
all their extraordinary efforts. I appreciated it so much. Their
enlightened beingness, made my day, fixed the problem and cast a
little extra needed light on the world.
It's taken me years to grasp this concept in my professional life and
I try very hard to act out of similar motives every day. So when I
experienced this from others, it only reinforced my coveted discovery
and belief that this is the best and only way to go when doing
business-- namely giving, caring, completing.
Old fashioned values.
Thing of it is, it took me years to learn to do it. Seems like these
guys just did it naturally.
_____________________
TIP-
In a way a script is not a blueprint for a movie. Sound weird? Well
it's true. A script is only a script. It has to stand on its own legs.
There are many writers who will tell us, 'hey don't worry about that
note, the director will take care of it.'
I say, there is no director!
Whatever has to be taken care of must happen on the page. In fact,
there are many writers who are cunningly entertaining in their
narrative, knowing full well that the narrative will never be shot.
They understand that the script is not a blueprint. It's a vehicle to
seduce the reader in the hope that it will sell. By the way, we
recently received an email from a writer (our friend Rob) who has
learned the above via an article quoting writer Lowell Ganz of
Parenthood, and City Slickers fame : "Our best movies are the ones
that could have been dramas (or a thriller or a coming of age story,
etc.) if they had been handled by someone else. The comedies I find
most tiresome are the ones that have a clear-cut comedy premise and
try to get 105 minutes out of it."
THANX ROB
____________________
BEWARE: WRITING ON THE NOSE-- Rule of thumb--don't say the obvious. A
love scene is much more effective when the lovers are "talking about
how delicious strawberries" are (while lovingly consuming them) rather
than telling each other how attracted they are to each other etc etc.
We can well see their attraction during this sexy consumption and this
indirectness can be much more sexy, tension producing and interesting.
Similarly a guy who's about to torture someone is much more lethal
when he's talking about how much he loves good Italian food than a guy
who tells you that he's going to torture you and what's he's going to
do.
_______________
WANNA SEE if a subplot isn't quite working and you can't figure it
out. Here's a suggestion--- take all the pages in your script that
pertain to the subplot, remove them from the script and put them
together in a little chronological wad. Now read it. Logic and balance
etc can often be very revealing with other aspects of the script
temporarily out of the picture.
______________________
A SCRIPT THAT'S TOO LONG DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN A SCRIPT WITH TOO MANY
PAGES. Think about it ...
____________
GETTING THE IDEA is, of course, the place to start working on a
project, but the long courtship with your notion has only just begun.
You need to dance with the idea, often for quite some time, before
commencing to the next stage. And the next stage is NOT writing. It's
kind of just ruminating. Things will start to happen in time. Pieces
begin to fit in. Keep prepping. The devil's in the details. Thicken
your offensive. Trust this process, stay alert and wait for the
onslaught of material to manifest. Sooner or later you will catch a
creative wave and you'll be writing on the walls.
________________
MY BASIC THEORY (based on plenty of experience) is this--getting your
script read is NOT the problem. It's getting the script RIGHT so that
when it gets read, something good happens!
______________
PLANNING A SCRIPT is an act of simplifying rather than the opposite.
And above all it's a blueprint for a practical doable approach to
getting something down on paper.
___________
BEING PICKY CAN BE GOOD
It's important to understand that, unlike the impression that we all
get from the instant gratification-oriented media, creating a
successful, viable screenplay, is a very challenging process which
requires patience, persistence, and sometimes inch-by-inch upgrading
and improvement. One must sometimes be prepared to experience this
challenging truth, and fully understand the time and energy required
to get to the place that you desire. This can be critical perception.
The other critical thing to know is that--it's the nature of giving
notes to often be "picky" to some extent and relentless in trying to
make things work. But do not be discouraged by what may seem to be
negative. There are many scripts with real potential which still
require painstaking scrutiny etc and this must not be interpreted as
something ominous. It's simply business as usual as it pertains to the
screenwriting biz.
_________
GOOD NEWS
Thought you'd like to know, my script 'Rockwell',
which you did a consult on, is in the Nicholl Quarterfinals.
Yours,
Stephen Leach.
lea...@gofree.indigo.ie
_______________
ANOTHER OPTION
Just wanted to let you know that I officially optioned Seven Day Auction
("Selling Pia"), which you helped me with earlier this year, to LA director
Philippe Ney.
Thank you again for your help, advice, insight, and comments - without your
feedback, this may not have happened!
So, thanks again!
Best,
Karen (WEBB)
(NOTE-Karen also wrote and co-produced a short film, "Green Grass," on
the immigration issue, which will begin the film festival circuit
shortly - www.greengrassfilm.com. Green Grass won a screenwriting
award at the Vail Film Festival this past Spring.")
____________
'ON THE RUN!' is a quarterfinalist in the 'American Screenplay
Competition' presented by Hollywood Scriptwriter Magazine. As I
re-wrote I just applied the things you taught me.
http://www.flatshoe.com/quarterfinals_2007.html
Thanks a million, the things you teach are unmatched.
dale
________________
FINALLY all the hard work is starting to pay off.
CL22V8: CLAVICAL Rules as Flat Shoe Entertainment has announced the
2007 quarterfinalists for The American Screenwriting Competition,
representing the top 5% of scripts received.
Thanks for everything. I'll keep you inform of the progress. Friends forever.
SPOOKY BUT NICE !
Craig:
Hope all is well. I recently finished my third draft of "P.R.". I
just dropped the script in the mail to you today. I'm looking forward
to getting your take on it's latest iteration. Your notes on my last
draft were integral in the rewrite and I think (hope) that you'll be
able to see your suggestions manifested on
the pages. I've got a funny / weird story to tell you. A couple days
after we had our most recent conference last month I received my
marked up 2nd draft back from you. I was eager to see your notes so I
opened up the envelope and started skimming through it as I fixed
myself some dinner. I had the TV in the kitchen on and tuned to
nothing particular. I
hadn't had the script open for 20 seconds when I heard your voice. I
looked up and there you were on TV. NBC was rerunning that special
about the first 5 years of SNL and a blurb from you came on as I
started to read your notes. I thought the timing was pretty funny. I
guess the universe was telling me that I made the right choice in
script consultants.
Talk to you soon.
Regards,
Todd
________
JUST DYING TO GET THAT PLAY PRODUCED
By ALLAN KATZ
I RECENTLY wrote to a number of the most prestigious theaters in New
York informing them that because they've repeatedly refused to accept
my new play for consideration I've decided to kill myself. Lincoln
Center Theater was the first to respond. They said they don't accept
unsolicited suicide notes.
I wrote them back asking how I could get on the list of potentially
posthumous playwrights from which they solicit. They wrote back saying
I couldn't. They said that their list consists exclusively of writers
who are so famous that they are often known by only one name, and that
I clearly didn't fall into that category because I was unknown by two.
Lincoln Center suggested that I explore theaters with lower standards
and wished me success in taking my life.
I next heard from the Manhattan Theater Club. Their policy is to read
only synopses of suicide notes. I wanted to kill myself. Synopses have
never been my long suit, and I knew that if I didn't make my suicide
note compelling I was a dead man. Nevertheless, I gave it a shot. This
is what I sent: "Allan Katz's compelling suicide note chronicles the
compelling struggle of his frustration with New York's compelling
theater scene compelling him to consider taking his own life - a
compelling read for anyone who enjoys being compelled."
The Manhattan Theater Club rejected my synopsis because it violated
their rule that a synopsis can't be more than twice as long as the
submission.
The Atlantic Theater Company informed me that they read only excerpts
from suicide notes. This posed a problem: My suicide note was only 15
words long, so there wasn't much that could be excerpted. I settled on
the segment that dealt with the suicide itself, which read, "I've
decided to kill myself." I haven't heard back from them, but my
understanding is that if they're interested, the next step is that
they request an excerpt from a synopsis - or vice versa.
Playwrights Horizons will read only suicide notes submitted by a
qualified agent (an oxymoron if I ever heard one). I asked my agent to
submit it, but he said he didn't accept suicide notes directly from
clients. He said that I'd have to submit it to him through my manager.
Unfortunately, I don't have a manager because my agent advised me
against getting one.
New York Stage and Film won't read unproduced suicide notes. Instead,
they require that you kill yourself at a regional theater first.
La MaMa E.T.C. said they were looking for something more unusual - for
example, if, instead of me, the character committing suicide were
either one half of Siamese twins or a puppet.
The few theaters willing to read my suicide note had all too familiar
reasons for passing: it wasn't dramatic enough; it was too dramatic;
it was similar to something they had just produced; it was dissimilar
from something they had just produced; they liked everything but the
ending; they liked the ending, but nothing before it; they liked the
middle, but wished it had come first - or at the end - or both.
I ultimately realized that submitting my suicide note had gotten me
nowhere, so I wrote back to all the theaters apologizing for having
taken up their valuable time. Lincoln Center was the first to respond.
They said they don't accept unsolicited apologies.
Allan Katz is a playwright whose works include the musical "Song of
Singapore" and the comedy "Partners." He is also a film and
television writer whose credits include "M*A*S*H."
NEW YORK TIMES
Arts & Leisure - Theater
Published: February 26, 2006
THANX ALLAN AND MARV
_________________
AN OLDIE BUT GOLDIE
We published this article once before but am finding it so relevant
that I've decided it could use another airing as so many writers have
keen and valuable perceptions about aspects of their scripts that
simply are NOT in the scripts themselves. But they think they are!!
Please read on.
BUT IS IT ON THE PAGE?
By Craig Kellem
The mind is a funny thing. Sometimes what we perceive to be true is
not true. This happens often with screenwriting when writers think
that there's something on the page that isn't on the page. This
malady is not reserved for wannabes. It happens with pros--a lot.
Recently, I was working with a writer who was adapting a classic novel
into a screenplay. The project was being supported by the art
division of a major studio. One of the characters, a key one in fact,
(in the novel) had always been a bitch. Not just an ordinary bitch,
but a real bitch--we're talking Joan Crawford, Leona Helmsley.
After the first notes meeting, the studio (typically) wanted the
writer to "soften" this character. Dutifully, the writer
acquiesced--too much. Studio pressure can be formidable.
I knew nothing about this while reading the script, but it didn't take
a rocket scientist to realize that without this saltiness, this
character would not be dynamic and the whole script could be adversely
affected. I mean, when you're writing a character flick and your
characters are not percolating and, because of this, true dynamics are
not occurring, there's going to be a lot of aimless talking and you're
going to be in trouble.
So I gave the note to the writer--"the character needs to be more
brittle and deliciously obnoxious." She was not at all defensive, and
she tweaked the material.
The problem was that the character was still muted in the next draft.
The writer thought otherwise. We debated. What an issue! We were
both reading the same pages and having different experiences.
Finally, the moment of truth came when we took the time to go page by
page with only one criteria: "let's see where she's bitchy."
It was actually an amusing experience because as we hunted through the
material, it became apparent that it just wasn't there. Only by
looking at the evidence did she realize how seriously she had taken
the studio note, and how ONLY IN HER OWN MIND AND HEART DID THE
CHARACTER REMAIN A BITCH.
I guess the lesson here is obvious. Because we, as writers have such
vivid perceptions and understandings of our own characters, we can
easily assume that the nuances of personality which are so clear to us
are just as clear to the reader. We must closely examine our
manuscripts making sure what's in our minds and hearts has actually
been written. ________________
GRIEF CYCLE
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, ELIZABETH KUBLER ROSS'S FAMOUS GRIEF CYCLE (which
occurs when people realize they have a terminal illness) CAN CORRELATE
WELL IN A WAY WITH THE EVOLUTION OF MANY PROTAGONISTS IN MOVIES.
Shock stage : Inciting incident.
Denial stage : Trying to avoid the inevitable.
Anger stage : Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
Bargaining stage : Seeking in vain for a way out.
Depression stage : Final realization of the inevitable.
Testing stage : Seeking realistic solutions.
Acceptance stage : Finally finding the way forward.
_______________
CALIFORNIA DREAMIN?
Our esteemed relative Jane Kellem Anderson invites any of you who are
California dreamin to give her a call. Realtor Jane will welcome you
to Los Angeles with showings of houses,
condos, leases and more. Be assured you will find a sanctuary for you
to create in peace and tranquility. http://www.janekanderson.com
323-240-8767
________________________________
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