Essay on how cancer changed my life

[BarbieFos]

For me - I sometimes forget the 'highs' I had right after diagnosis
and realizations about what was really important in life. I find the
longer you are out from treatment, the easier it is to fall back into
a routine of regular thinking, however the challenge is that you, your
thoughts, your body is not 'regular' or 'normal'. Therein, lies one
of the struggles I have had.

Several months ago, I entered a 'contest' to write an essay about how
breast cancer changed my life. The winner was picked to be in a book
with similar essays called "Cup of Comfort". My essay did not get
picked - but I will post an excerpt from it:

This title was supposed to be on the theme, “How Breast Cancer Changed
My Life”, but I think this piece may be better titled, ‘how cancer
changed my life’, since although I am a breast cancer survivor, my
sister’s courageous battle with melanoma changed everything for me.

I learned some pretty incredible lessons from my younger sister. In
the face of pain, numbness, moments you cannot control, Faith is so
important. Things do not make happiness. You realize who and what is
truly important in your life. Moments, even small ones, are not to be
taken for granted and you can do what you think you cannot do.

We turned 33 years old in 2006. My sister lost her courageous battle
with cancer two months later on April 19, 2006. On November 24, 2006
I was diagnosed with Stage IIa Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma, breast
cancer. Although the phone call from my physician was a shock, I
certainly drew and continue to draw strength from my inspiration, my
sister. Even when she was withering away, and had lost much of her
sight, her hearing and her ability to walk, she did not complain –
ever. As I tell many people who ask me “How can you be so positive?”
I respond, “How can I not be?” Look at what I have, the ability to
walk, talk, hear, eat and feel good, what do I have to complain
about?

I am so lucky to have learned, relatively early in life, what is
really important. I value my family and friends, my work
relationships, my faith, and my abilities so much more. I have been
blessed with a peace in my soul from God. Even from my initial
diagnosis, I have had a certain sense of humor about my situation. Of
course there are good days and bad days, but it really helps lighten
the mood and put others at ease if you can talk about it and laugh a
little. I often discuss things I’ve learned during my chemotherapy
and treatment. Some of the more humorous realizations include: I
never knew I’d be showing this many people my boobs in such a short
period of time; it’s great not having to shave your legs, tweeze your
eyebrows or do your hair for 6 months when all your hair falls out;
you are stronger than you think you are; I am no longer afraid of the
unknown.

I am proud to show the ‘battle scars’ of my mastectomy and want to
share with others my experience. I love it when women come up to me
and share that they are survivors too. I draw strength from those
women and the shared experience that inexplicably brings us together.
Although my ‘external’ signs of active treatment are hidden: I have a
prosthetic breast and my hair is growing back, I am proud to be a
survivor. I look forward to the opportunity to be the smiling face,
encouraging word or gentle hug to someone who may be suffering
physically or emotionally from cancer treatment or seeing someone they
love go through this battle.

I know that cancer can kill; I have experienced it first hand and it
is completely heart-breaking. Growing up, Brenda was always the
shorter, slightly weaker, and younger twin. It is through this
experience that I have learned who has really been the stronger one
all along. I am so blessed to have her still a part of me helping me
fight this battle.