Rated X jokes

[Santosh Singh]

From: sant...@aol.com sant...@aol.com

 

 

 

after a train passed a tunnel, a sardar screamed "who squeezed my
wifie's boobs?"
"chalo sab line mein khade ho jao. ek ek karke firse dabao, finger
print lena hai"

*********

how do municipal buses help in family planning?

by spreading the message "kripya hamesha peechhe se chadhiye !!"

*********

sex is like a restaurant.
someties u get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with "self-service"

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~`

when u r having sex with a girl, along with condom, also keep M-SEAL with you.

why?

kyunki ek tapakti boond aapki kismat badal sakti hai

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~`

sardar bunks office, comes home, and finds his wife in bed with his boss.
rushes back to office and tells his colleagues: "i almost got caught bunking"

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~`

one night a boy asked his girlfriend: "darling r u free tonight"
his girlfriend shouted and replied "have i ever charged u before?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~`
************ ******

sardarni : i want good manners in bed just like at the dinner table.
sardar climbs slowly into the bed, smiles and says: "honey, would you pass the boobs please"

************ ******

cock and cat were crossing a bridge.
cat slips and falls into river.
cock can't stop laughing.

moral of the story?
wherever there is a wet pussy, there's a happy cock.

sardar: my 5 year old son is very naughty. he has made my maid pregnant.
doctor: how the hell is that possible?
sardar: he took a pin and punched holes in all my condoms.

============ ======
 
a banker, confused with maths, asked his secretary: if i give you $3 million less 17%, how much would you take-off?
sec: everything, sir !! DRESS, BRA, PANTY !!!

============ ======

woman complaining to dentist: it's so painful, i'd rather have a baby than
have a tooth removed.
dentist: make up your mind soon, i'll adjust the chair accordingly.

============ ======

old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read: BORN A
VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
the engraver shortened it to "RETURNED UNOPENED"

============ ======

if ekta kapoor made porn serials, the names would be:
randi ghar ghar ki.
saas bhi kabhi dhandewali thi
kabhi raand kabhi rakhel.
des mein phati hogi gaand

============ ======

a hawker was selling sex pills: "1 lega to lamba hoga, 2 lega to khamba hoga, 3 lega to...."
suddenly a pros interrupted him: "abe bhadva, chodna hai ki khodna hai"

============ ======

love is not measured by HUGGING, KISSING & SEX.
it is all about Trusting, Respecting & accepting a person...
...
...
with OPEN LEGS, CLOSED EYES, WET LIPS saying PUSH IT
MORE !!

============ ======

husband climbs to bed naked.
wife: i have a headache.
husband: perfect, i have powdered my dick with aspirin. do you want to take
it orally or as injection?

============ =

sardar explaining to son why not to go to prosti's.
"puttar u go 2 prosti, tainu aids ho jayegi.
fir teri wife nu,
fir mainu,
aur fir saare gaon nu..."

===========

johnny asks grandpa: "do u still hv sex with granma?"
granpa says : "yes, but only oral."
johny : "whats oral?"
granpa : "i say f**k u, she says f**k u too"

============ ==

a get together of 5 generations of family was there.
the li'l rascals sneaked viagra in granpas drink. he excused himself to go to the bathroom. but when he came, he was wet all over. others asked what happened.
he said,"well i had to take a pee, but when i took it out, i realized it couldn't be mine, so i put it back"

===========

what is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
both are sweet and tight in the beginning, but become tasteless and
shapeless later

============ =

Tony greg to mandira bedi, pointing towards her assets: "thats a gorgeous
dairy farm u have"

mandira: "its not a dairy farm, its a poultry farm. it has never failed to raise a cock"

=========

a kid asked the priest "father, what is your pastime?"
the priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied"
"Nun, my child, nun"

=======

man at medical shops wants viagra.
says "give extra dose, 3 girls are coming"
next day he wants iodex.
chamist asks "why, what happened?"
man "the girls didn't come"

========

a couple in train.
wife: my hand is paining.
(husband kisses her hand)
wife: my neck is paining
(husband kisses her neck)
an old man sitting nearby couldn't control himself:
"beta, piles ka bhi
ilaaj karte ho kya?"

=======

a sardar went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour.
somebody asked - sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?
sardar : hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi
 

 

.

__,_._,___

---

SANTOSH KUMAR SINGH
Cell No.+91-9833845540
" A true Friends is one who overlooks your failure and tolerates your successes!."

[Chandan Chandra]

Moderator..plz take steps to remove this user from list on account of sending obscene jokes.

NITIE
+919869792993

[Kalingaa...]

This forum is for hindi lovers and not for your jokes. You can do this on specific forums for such emails.

- Kalingaa...

On 12/19/06, Santosh Singh <str...@gmail.com> wrote:

--
-- Keep Smiling
- - Kalingaa...
http://Kalingaa.blogspot.com/