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10 Husband-Wife Programmer Jokes
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James Warren
Dec 6, 2021, 10:52:00 AM12/6/21
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10 Husband-Wife Programmer Jokes
Programming is a high mental pressure job. My friend always jokes
that it’s a pure blue-collar job. ??
Let’s take some time off your keyboard and start reading this article!
I hope that you will have a wonderful time reading this article.
Number #1:
Once, A wife of a programmer sent her husband to a grocery store to
buy a loaf of bread. On his way out, his wife said, “and while you
are in the store, get some eggs.”
He never returned.
Number #2:
Once, A wife of a programmer sent her husband to a grocery store to
buy a loaf of bread. On his way out, his wife said, “Buy a loaf of
bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
An hour later, the husband returned home with 12 loaves of bread.
The wife got angry and asked, “Why did you get 12 loaves of bread?”.
He replied, “Because they had eggs.”
Number #3:
Once, A wife of a programmer sent her husband to a grocery store to
buy a loaf of bread. On his way out, his wife said, “Buy a loaf of
bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The store did not have any eggs to get. The husband threw a segmentation
fault and died.
Number #4:
Do you want to know how programmers get divorced? Let’s see this one
??
Husband: Honey, I’m going to buy you a diamond ring for our anniversary.
Wife:: Oh, husband! Nothing would please me more!
He got her nothing instead!!!
Number #5:
Husband gave his programmer wife a new shampoo bottle. But the wife
was stuck in the shower.
Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle were: “Lather, Rinse,
Repeat.”
She finished the whole shampoo in a day
Number #6:
For a good programmer, an understanding and supporting wife is like
syntax error. He doesn’t get any (kind of funny and sad)
Number #7:
The wife is asking her programmer husband, “Do you want a boy or a
girl?”
The husband said, “Yes.”
Number #8:
A programmer got home after work and found his wife crying. She asked
his programmer husband, “Ever since we got married, you have avoided
this question but now I want an answer. It better be true or I will
leave you.”
Husband: What’s your question?
Wife: Do you really love me or do you just marry me for my assets?
Husband: Yes!
The wife left!
Number #9:
What freaks out programmers both in personal and professional life?
An unexpected missed period!
Number #10:
A wife became very angry seeing her programmer husband talking with
another woman. ( the woman she hates)
After getting back from the office, She asked him, “I saw you talking
with Jenny in front of her house. Then you got into her house!”
Husband: Yes!
Wife: Did you have sex with her or not?
Husband: Yes!
(And that’s how despite giving an honest answer, an honest husband
got slapped!)
Programming is a high mental pressure job. My friend always jokes
that it’s a pure blue-collar job. ??
Let’s take some time off your keyboard and start reading this article!
I hope that you will have a wonderful time reading this article.
Number #1:
Once, A wife of a programmer sent her husband to a grocery store to
buy a loaf of bread. On his way out, his wife said, “and while you
are in the store, get some eggs.”
He never returned.
Number #2:
Once, A wife of a programmer sent her husband to a grocery store to
buy a loaf of bread. On his way out, his wife said, “Buy a loaf of
bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
An hour later, the husband returned home with 12 loaves of bread.
The wife got angry and asked, “Why did you get 12 loaves of bread?”.
He replied, “Because they had eggs.”
Number #3:
Once, A wife of a programmer sent her husband to a grocery store to
buy a loaf of bread. On his way out, his wife said, “Buy a loaf of
bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The store did not have any eggs to get. The husband threw a segmentation
fault and died.
Number #4:
Do you want to know how programmers get divorced? Let’s see this one
??
Husband: Honey, I’m going to buy you a diamond ring for our anniversary.
Wife:: Oh, husband! Nothing would please me more!
He got her nothing instead!!!
Number #5:
Husband gave his programmer wife a new shampoo bottle. But the wife
was stuck in the shower.
Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle were: “Lather, Rinse,
Repeat.”
She finished the whole shampoo in a day
Number #6:
For a good programmer, an understanding and supporting wife is like
syntax error. He doesn’t get any (kind of funny and sad)
Number #7:
The wife is asking her programmer husband, “Do you want a boy or a
girl?”
The husband said, “Yes.”
Number #8:
A programmer got home after work and found his wife crying. She asked
his programmer husband, “Ever since we got married, you have avoided
this question but now I want an answer. It better be true or I will
leave you.”
Husband: What’s your question?
Wife: Do you really love me or do you just marry me for my assets?
Husband: Yes!
The wife left!
Number #9:
What freaks out programmers both in personal and professional life?
An unexpected missed period!
Number #10:
A wife became very angry seeing her programmer husband talking with
another woman. ( the woman she hates)
After getting back from the office, She asked him, “I saw you talking
with Jenny in front of her house. Then you got into her house!”
Husband: Yes!
Wife: Did you have sex with her or not?
Husband: Yes!
(And that’s how despite giving an honest answer, an honest husband
got slapped!)
James Warren
Dec 6, 2021, 6:13:23 PM12/6/21
to
On 2021-12-06 6:04 PM, HRM Resident wrote:
> James Warren <jwwar...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> >snip<
> speakers “speak” text. So I can get it to tell one of those when DW enters
> the room! Technology + being foolish = staying sane during Covid.
Happy to help. :)
>
> I got my Christmas tree ready today. It’s 4 inches tall and is a PCB
> with LEDs, transistors, a few capacitors, and resistors that you power with
> three AA batteries — a made in China** kit for $3.99 including shipping.
> Tree has been blinking LEDs for 5 hours now. Merry Christmas!
I would skip Christmas altogether but I have a spouse who enjoys
this tradition. If it were up to me and my siblings we would
ignore it but we have relatives and spouses who need to be
obeyed. :)
>
> ** Boycott China! I bought the kit 2-3 years ago. Since that 2 Michaels
> thing, I only buy Chinese merchandise when there’s no alternative.
>
> James Warren <jwwar...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> >snip<
>
>
>>
>> (And that’s how despite giving an honest answer, an honest husband
>> got slapped!)
>>
>>
>
> I have a use for these! I figured out how to make one of those smart
>
>>
>> (And that’s how despite giving an honest answer, an honest husband
>> got slapped!)
>>
>>
>
> speakers “speak” text. So I can get it to tell one of those when DW enters
> the room! Technology + being foolish = staying sane during Covid.
Happy to help. :)
>
> I got my Christmas tree ready today. It’s 4 inches tall and is a PCB
> with LEDs, transistors, a few capacitors, and resistors that you power with
> three AA batteries — a made in China** kit for $3.99 including shipping.
> Tree has been blinking LEDs for 5 hours now. Merry Christmas!
I would skip Christmas altogether but I have a spouse who enjoys
this tradition. If it were up to me and my siblings we would
ignore it but we have relatives and spouses who need to be
obeyed. :)
>
> ** Boycott China! I bought the kit 2-3 years ago. Since that 2 Michaels
> thing, I only buy Chinese merchandise when there’s no alternative.
>
HRM Resident
Dec 6, 2021, 8:03:38 PM12/6/21
to
> (And that’s how despite giving an honest answer, an honest husband
> got slapped!)
>
>
> got slapped!)
>
>
I have a use for these! I figured out how to make one of those smart
speakers “speak” text. So I can get it to tell one of those when DW enters
the room! Technology + being foolish = staying sane during Covid.
speakers “speak” text. So I can get it to tell one of those when DW enters
the room! Technology + being foolish = staying sane during Covid.
I got my Christmas tree ready today. It’s 4 inches tall and is a PCB
with LEDs, transistors, a few capacitors, and resistors that you power with
three AA batteries — a made in China** kit for $3.99 including shipping.
Tree has been blinking LEDs for 5 hours now. Merry Christmas!
with LEDs, transistors, a few capacitors, and resistors that you power with
three AA batteries — a made in China** kit for $3.99 including shipping.
Tree has been blinking LEDs for 5 hours now. Merry Christmas!
** Boycott China! I bought the kit 2-3 years ago. Since that 2 Michaels
thing, I only buy Chinese merchandise when there’s no alternative.
--
thing, I only buy Chinese merchandise when there’s no alternative.
HRM Resident
HRM Resident
Dec 6, 2021, 8:29:24 PM12/6/21
to
James Warren <jwwar...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On 2021-12-06 6:04 PM, HRM Resident wrote:
>> James Warren <jwwar...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>> snip<
>>
>>
>>>
>>> (And that’s how despite giving an honest answer, an honest husband
>>> got slapped!)
>>>
>>>
>>
>> I have a use for these! I figured out how to make one of those smart
>> speakers “speak” text. So I can get it to tell one of those when DW enters
>> the room! Technology + being foolish = staying sane during Covid.
>
> Happy to help. :)
>
I knew you would be. Regardless of the topic or work to be done, I
> On 2021-12-06 6:04 PM, HRM Resident wrote:
>> James Warren <jwwar...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>> snip<
>>
>>
>>>
>>> (And that’s how despite giving an honest answer, an honest husband
>>> got slapped!)
>>>
>>>
>>
>> I have a use for these! I figured out how to make one of those smart
>> speakers “speak” text. So I can get it to tell one of those when DW enters
>> the room! Technology + being foolish = staying sane during Covid.
>
> Happy to help. :)
>
always try to seek out the number one person for the job! :-)
>>
>> I got my Christmas tree ready today. It’s 4 inches tall and is a PCB
>> with LEDs, transistors, a few capacitors, and resistors that you power with
>> three AA batteries — a made in China** kit for $3.99 including shipping.
>> Tree has been blinking LEDs for 5 hours now. Merry Christmas!
>
> I would skip Christmas altogether but I have a spouse who enjoys
> this tradition. If it were up to me and my siblings we would
> ignore it but we have relatives and spouses who need to be
> obeyed. :)
>
fuck’s sake, do we have to invite HIM?”
I feel the same way. I always got coerced into going to family
gatherings that I had zero interest in. Funerals for someone you never met
and having to drive a carload of sobbing relatives there is the worst. I
would try thumbscrews before I ever do anything like that again.
--
HRM Resident
Jack
Dec 7, 2021, 1:35:49 PM12/7/21
to
is marrried. So fuck off and stop,,,,,we queers is happy!! lolololol
...
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order
to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive. - D. Trump
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