For James

10 views
Skip to first unread message

HRM Resident

unread,
Aug 3, 2022, 7:07:16 AMAug 3
to
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He
said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A
Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said,
"Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I
said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern
Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern
Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern
Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist
Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes
Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said,
"Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said,
"Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

--
HRM Resident

James Warren

unread,
Aug 3, 2022, 8:26:10 AMAug 3
to
I think this is at least 25 years old. I think I first saw it at
the now defunct group rec.humor.funny.

HRM Resident

unread,
Aug 3, 2022, 9:48:09 AMAug 3
to
On 2022-08-03 9:26 a.m., James Warren wrote:

>snip<

>> "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I
>> said,
>> "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
>>
>
> I think this is at least 25 years old. I think I first saw it at
> the now defunct group rec.humor.funny.
>

Be that as it may, to which faction do (or did) you
belong? Are you a heretic? And finally, if you are a
heretic, when did you become one?

So many questions and so little time! :-)

I have to get a haircut today too. What a bother!

--
HRM Resident

James Warren

unread,
Aug 3, 2022, 10:19:11 AMAug 3
to
On 2022-08-03 10:48 AM, HRM Resident wrote:
> On 2022-08-03 9:26 a.m., James Warren wrote:
>
>       >snip<
>
>>> "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I
>>> said,
>>> "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
>>>
>>
>> I think this is at least 25 years old. I think I first saw it at
>> the now defunct group rec.humor.funny.
>>
>
>     Be that as it may, to which faction do (or did) you
> belong?  Are you a heretic?  And finally, if you are a
> heretic, when did you become one?

I'm an apostate. Is that a heretic?

>
>     So many questions and so little time! :-)
>
>     I have to get a haircut today too. What a bother!
>

My last haircut was last November. I think I might be due soon.
Yes, it's a bother.

HRM Resident

unread,
Aug 3, 2022, 12:09:04 PMAug 3
to
On 2022-08-03 11:19 a.m., James Warren wrote:

>
> I'm an apostate. Is that a heretic?

Kind of, I think. It might be splitting hairs.
I was curious when you became a religion hating
OCD lunatic. Can you narrow that down to an event
or a year range? You likely were not born that
way. Most of us "live and let live" unless someone
pokes at us too much. Just ballpark it! :-)

>
> My last haircut was last November. I think I might be due soon.
> Yes, it's a bother.
>

10+ years ago I bought a set of electric clippers.
I got sick of paying $15-20 and waiting around in hair
salons and making small-talk with the hair cutters. I
don't care where they are from, where they went on vacation,
how many kids they have, etc.

My wife had zero experience with cutting hair. But
she practiced on me. I am not fussy, and she now quick
and pretty good at it. I get her to cut it. I shall be
sheared by suppertime!

It was a blessing to begin with, and more so during the
past 2.5 years. I suppose she cuts it every couple of months.
So, order ((6 X 10)X $20) = $1200 less about $50 for the
capital outlay.

This paid for a good smartphone and a couple of other
things! I wish I'd done so 25 years earlier, but I had a
real barber . . . with a striped pole outside, etc. Then
he retired.

Look at the weather forecast for the next couple of days!
Take a heart pill first. :-) 31 C with a humidex of 40.

<https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/ns-19_metric_e.html>

--
HRM Resident

James Warren

unread,
Aug 3, 2022, 1:33:45 PMAug 3
to
On 2022-08-03 1:09 PM, HRM Resident wrote:
> On 2022-08-03 11:19 a.m., James Warren wrote:
>
>>
>> I'm an apostate. Is that a heretic?
>
>     Kind of, I think.  It might be splitting hairs.
> I was curious when you became a religion hating
> OCD lunatic. Can you narrow that down to an event
> or a year range?  You likely were not born that
> way. Most of us "live and let live" unless someone
> pokes at us too much.  Just ballpark it! :-)

I gave up religion permanently at age 14. I waffled
a few years before that.

Unless you have forgotten, USENET is a playground for
testing out ideas. When you play you expose yourself
to critical analysis and ridicule. Do so at you own
risk. :)

>
>>
>> My last haircut was last November. I think I might be due soon.
>> Yes, it's a bother.
>>
>
>    10+ years ago I bought a set of electric clippers.
> I got sick of paying $15-20 and waiting around in hair
> salons and making small-talk with the hair cutters.  I
> don't care where they are from, where they went on vacation,
> how many kids they have, etc.

I hear ya.

>
>    My wife had zero experience with cutting hair. But
> she practiced on me. I am not fussy, and she now quick
> and pretty good at it.  I get her to cut it.  I shall be
> sheared by suppertime!
>
>    It was a blessing to begin with, and more so during the
> past 2.5 years. I suppose she cuts it every couple of months.
> So, order ((6 X 10)X $20) = $1200 less about $50 for the
> capital outlay.

I am tempted.

>
>    This paid for a good smartphone and a couple of other
> things! I wish I'd done so 25 years earlier, but I had a
> real barber . . . with a striped pole outside, etc. Then
> he retired.
>
>     Look at the weather forecast for the next couple of days!
> Take a heart pill first. :-) 31 C with a humidex of 40.
>
> <https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/ns-19_metric_e.html>
>

No A/C here. Will have to grin and bear it.

HRM Resident

unread,
Aug 3, 2022, 1:48:57 PMAug 3
to
On 2022-08-03 2:33 p.m., James Warren wrote:
> On 2022-08-03 1:09 PM, HRM Resident wrote:
>> On 2022-08-03 11:19 a.m., James Warren wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> I'm an apostate. Is that a heretic?
>>
>>      Kind of, I think.  It might be splitting hairs.
>> I was curious when you became a religion hating
>> OCD lunatic. Can you narrow that down to an event
>> or a year range?  You likely were not born that
>> way. Most of us "live and let live" unless someone
>> pokes at us too much.  Just ballpark it! :-)
>
> I gave up religion permanently at age 14. I waffled
> a few years before that.
>

So it was when you got your hormones working!
I guessed lucky! I too found it hard (no pun
intended) to deal with the commandments when
girls were walking around in mini-skirts. Thou shall
not covet wives (which included daughters according to
our teachings) was a tough one!

I was willing to give'em back, but I wanted to
"borrow" them for about an hour or two. :-) But it
was a sin to even thing of borrowing. :-)


>
> I am tempted.
>

Even if you pay $100 and don't get your money back
over time, the convenience of not having to go out and get
it cut is worth it.

>
> No A/C here. Will have to grin and bear it.
>

Same here. I have a nice tree with shade,
but there are tics out in it. So do I melt or
risk Lyme disease?

--
HRM Resident

James Warren

unread,
Aug 3, 2022, 2:49:00 PMAug 3
to
On 2022-08-03 2:48 PM, HRM Resident wrote:
> On 2022-08-03 2:33 p.m., James Warren wrote:
>> On 2022-08-03 1:09 PM, HRM Resident wrote:
>>> On 2022-08-03 11:19 a.m., James Warren wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> I'm an apostate. Is that a heretic?
>>>
>>>      Kind of, I think.  It might be splitting hairs.
>>> I was curious when you became a religion hating
>>> OCD lunatic. Can you narrow that down to an event
>>> or a year range?  You likely were not born that
>>> way. Most of us "live and let live" unless someone
>>> pokes at us too much.  Just ballpark it! :-)
>>
>> I gave up religion permanently at age 14. I waffled
>> a few years before that.
>>
>
>     So it was when you got your hormones working!
> I guessed lucky!  I too found it hard (no pun
> intended) to deal with the commandments when
> girls were walking around in mini-skirts. Thou shall
> not covet wives (which included daughters according to
> our teachings) was a tough one!

Actually it was a little before that. When I was confirmed at age 12
I walked away thinking the only then that happened there
was some old fart put his hand on my head. I was not
impressed. It took two more years to finally say
fuck it, it's bullshit. I also told anyone who
cared to ask.

>
>     I was willing to give'em back, but I wanted to
> "borrow" them for about an hour or two. :-)  But it
> was a sin to even thing of borrowing. :-)
>
>
>>
>> I am tempted.
>>
>
>     Even if you pay $100 and don't get your money back
> over time, the convenience of not having to go out and get
> it cut is worth it.

I just got a honey cut with a pair of three inch scissors.
I won't win any beauty contests but my hair is definitely
shorter.

>
>>
>> No A/C here. Will have to grin and bear it.
>>
>
>     Same here.  I have a nice tree with shade,
> but there are tics out in it. So do I melt or
> risk Lyme disease?
>

Shade or not the humidex will be near 40C, so no relief.
The only thing that might be helpful is a fan. I have
a few of those.

Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages