Ibn Katheer says in his tafseer [2/392-393]: ((You will never be able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent desire)) meaning:
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to [perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent
desire)) meaning:
Allah says in Suratun-Nisaah: 129: "You will never be able to
[perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent desire,
so do not incline too much to one of them so as to leave the other
hanging. And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allah
by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is All-Forgiving,
Most Merciful."
Sheikh As-Sa'dee says in the commentery of these verses [pg. 208]:
"Allah, the Most High, informs us that husbands do not have the
ability to be completely just between wives, and that is because
complete justice requires the presence equal love, attraction, and an
inclination of the heart, and then the action this neccessitates, and
this is impossible, therefore Allah has pardoned him for what he is not
able, and has prohibited him from that which he has the ability with
His Statement ((so do not incline too much to one of them so as to
leave the other hanging)) meaning do not incline heavily to one [over
the other] to the point where you do not give them their obligatory
rights, rather do all that is in your power to be just [between them].
So maintenance, clothing, the division of time, ect., it is upon you to
be equal between them in these, as opposed to love, sexual intercourse,
ect., so if the husband abandons his wife she becomes as if she is
suspended, neither divorced so as
to marry, nor married where she recieves her rights." [End of the
words of As-Sa'dee]
The Imaam of the people of Tafseer, At-Tabaree, said in his commentary
on this verse [9/284]: "This means: O men! You do not have the power
to be equal between your wives in the love for them in your hearts so
as to be impartial between them in that, so you will not have the equal
amount of love in your hearts for all of them because this is something
you have no control over even if it is your ardent desire, but do not
let your feelings cause you to completely incline to the one you love
more, until it causes you to oppress her co-wives in abandoning their
rights from division of time and maintenance, and living with them in
kindness, leaving the ones you love less like they are neither married
nor divorced."
Ibn Katheer says in his tafseer [2/392-393]: ((You will never be able
to [perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent
desire)) meaning: you will never be able to equate between wives from
every perspective, so even if the division of time is equal between
them, a night for a night, there will most certainly be inequality in
love, desire, and sexual relations, as was said by Ibn Abbaas Ubaidah
ibn As-Salmaanee, Mujaahid, Al-Hasan Al-Basree, and Ad-Dahhaak ibn
Muzaahim. Ibn Abee Haatim said: "Abu Zur'ah narrated to us: Ibn
Abee Shaybah narrated to us: Al-Hasan Al-Ju'fee narrated to us on the
authority of Zaa'idah from Abdul-Azeez ibn Rufi' on the authority
of Ibn Abee Mulaikah who said: "This ayah ((You will never be able to
[perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent
desire)) was revealed about Aishah, meaning that the Prophet,
Sallallahu alaihi was sallam, loved her more than anyone."
His statement: ((so do not incline too much to one of them)) meaning:
If you incline towards one of them [feelings, sex, love] do not go
overboard inclining completely ((so as to leave the other hanging))
meaning: Leave the other suspended. Stated Ibn Abbaas, Mujaahid,
Sa'eed ibn Jubair, Al-Hasan, Ad-Dahhaak, Ar-Rabee' ibn Anas,
As-Siddee, and Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan: "It means neither married nor
divorced."
And His statement: ((And if you do justice, and do all that is right
and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is
All-Forgiving, Most Merciful)) meaning: if you properly place your
affairs in order and divide between them justly in what you are able,
and fear Allah in all your affairs, Allah will forgive you for your
inclining [in the past] to one woman over the other." [End of the
statement of Ibn Katheer]
Imaam Al-Baghawee says in his tafseer [2/295-296]: "You will never be
able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent
desire, so do not incline too much to one of them so as to leave the
other hanging. And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear
Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is
All-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Stated Sulaymaan ibn Yasaar about this ayah on the authority of Ibn
Abbaas: "If she was to give up some of her rights from the division
of days, and maitenence, then that is permissible as long as she is
pleased with that..."
Stated Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan about this ayah: "A man has under his
care an older woman and then marries a young girl, he says to his older
wife: "I will give you a portion of my wealth to give this young girl
more days,' so if she agrees then there is no harm, and if she
refuses then it is upon him to divide justly between them."
His statement: ((You will never be able to [perfectly] deal justly
between wives)) meaning: you will not be able to be equal in your love,
affection, and feelings ((even if it is your ardent desire)) to be
equal [in that] ((so do not incline)) to the one you love more ((too
much)) in the division of time and maintenance, meaning: do not let
your actions follow your feelings ((so as to leave the other hanging))
meaning abandon the other like she is neither single nor married.
Qataadah said: 'Like she is imprisoned.' [End of the quote of
Al-Baghawee]
Stated Imaam Ash-Shawkaanee in his tafseer [1/665]: ((You will never be
able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives)) Allah informs of mens
inability to be completely equal between wives from what the nature of
the human being is created upon in feelings for one as opposed to the
other, more for this one, less for that one, and this is by virtue of
their creation that they do not control their hearts." [End of quote
of Ash-Shawkaanee]
So as we see from all the scholars of Tafseer that we quoted from that
what is intended by the verse is that a man must be equal in that which
he humanly has the ability to be equal in from maintenance and the
division of days, but as for him loving one more than the other, being
more physically attracted to one over the other, or being more sexually
active with one over the other, than this is something that he does not
have the ability to be equal in as his heart may incline to one for
whatever reason, but as Imaam Al-Baghawee mentioned: "do not let your
actions follow your feelings." Meaning that just because you may love
one more than the other do not allow that to cause you to oppress one
with regards to the division of time and maintenance or outward signs
that would cause the harm of the feelings of the ones you love less.
As far as the punishment for those who are not just between wives in
that which they have the ability, then this comes in the Hadeeth that
is collected in the Sunan of Abu Dawud (no. 2133), An-Nisaa'ee in his
Sunan (2/157), At-Tirmidhee in his Jaami' (1/213), Ibn Maajah in his
Sunan (no. 1969), Ad-Daarimee in his Sunan (2/143),and others, and is
authenticated by Al-Muhaddith Al-Albaanee in Irwaa Al-Ghaleel (no.
2017), on the authority of Abu Hurairah who said: The Messenger of
Allah said: "Whoever has two wives and inclines toward one of them
[over the other] he will come on the Day of Judgement and one side of
his body will be slanted."
Al-Imaam At-Tirmidhee brings this Hadeeth under the chapter: What has
come in the equality between ÇáÖÑÇÆÑ (co-wives). Al-Muhaddith
Al-Mubaarakfuree says in the explanation of this chapter in
Tuhfatul-Ahwadhee [4/247]: "ÇáÖÑÇÆÑ [from the verb ÖÑø
which means to harm] The co-wives of a man [are called this because]
each one of them harms the other with jealousy, and the division [of
time]"
He continues: ((He will come on the Day of Judgement and one side of
his body will be slanted)) At-Teebee said: meaning one half of him will
be slanted so that the members of the families can see him as an
addition to the punishment, and this is not limited to the one who has
two wives, if he had three or four than this punishment is
established." [End of the quote of Al-Mubaarakfuree]
Al-Muhaddith Al-Adheem Al-Aabaadee says in Awnul-Ma'bud, the
explanation of Sunan Abee Dawud on this Hadeeth [6/136]: ((Whoever has
two wives)) for example ((and inclines toward one of them [over the
other])) meaning he is not just between them rather he shows favoritism
to one over the other ((one side of his body will be slanted)) sloping.
This Hadeeth is a proof that it is obligatory upon a man to be just
between women, and it is prohibited for him to show favoritism to one
over the other." [End of the quote of Al-Aabaadee]
Al-Muhaddith Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Ithyubee says in his explanation of
An-Nisaa'ee [28/178-179]: "Benefits of this Hadeeth: The
clarification of the ruling of a man favoring some of his wives over
others, and it is impermissible; due to the punishment that is
mentioned in the hadeeth.
And from them: The obligation of dividing equally between wives.
And from them: The concern of the Sharee'ah to remove that will cause
enmity and hatred between the Ummah, so it prohibited discrimination
between wives because that brings about breaking up a man and his
family, rather it trancends to the families of the wives, so it is
obligatory to avoid that.
And from them: The encouragement to have excellent character, from
dividing equally between those the Sharee'ah has commanded to, so it
is not permissible to show favoritism to one side over the other unless
it is legislated, like if one of the wives is a slave, then it is not
obligatory to be equal between her and the freed wife in division,
rather she gets half of the days that are given to the freed wife, and
Allah knows best.
He goes on to quote Al-Qurtubee in how the man should make the
division: He says (Al-Qurtubee): 'As for how he should divide, then
there is no difference of opinion that he should give each of them
their night alone, and many of the scholars say the day, and some of
them are of the opinion of the obligation of this is at night, not
during the day, and he should not enter upon one on them on the other
ones night, unless there is a need to, and they differ with regards to
his entering with a need or nessecity, and the majority of them are of
the opinion that it is permissible, Imaam Maalik and others. And in the
book of Ibn Habeeb he prohibits it. And he is just between them in
maintenance, and clothing if they are equal in status, not if they are
of different stations."
Al-Muhaddith Muammad ibn Adam says after quoting Al-Qurtubee: "This
statement of Al-Qurtubee about not having to be equal between them if
they are of different status needs proof specifying it with the general
proofs of the obligation of equality in division [of time and
maintenance]." [End of the quote of Ibn Adam]
There has come in the authentic sunnah many proofs of a man loving one
wife more than the others, one for example is what come in the Sunan of
An-Nisa'ee in the chapter: A man loving some of his wives more than
others. The Hadeeth on the authority of Ai'shah who said: "The
wives of the Messenger of Allah sent Faatimah the daughter of the
Messenger of Allah to the Prophet and she sought permission to enter,
so when she entered he was laying with me on my Mirt (type of wool
garment) so she said: 'O Messenger of Allah! Indeed your wives sent
me to you asking for equality with the daughter of Abu Quaafah
(Aishah)." And I remained quiet. So the Prophet said to her: "O my
daughter! Do you not love the one I love?" She said: "Of course."
He said: "Then love this one..."
Muhammad ibn Adam says in the explanation of this Hadeeth [28/187-188]:
"((O Messenger of Allah! Indeed your wives sent me to you asking for
equality with the daughter of Abu Quaafah (Aishah))) Imaam An-Nawawee
said: 'Its meaning is that they are asking you to be equal in the
love in your heart, as the Prophet used to be just between them with
maintenance and nights, ect, but as for the love of his heart then he
used to love Aishah more than the others, and the there is a consensus
of the Muslims that is is not upon him to love them all the same
because no one has power over that except Allah, and He only commanded
with equality in actions." [End of quote]