Pan Pizza Rebeltaxi

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Johanne

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Aug 4, 2024, 9:13:16 PM8/4/24

to hehelbolo

Panwas the main character in the independent film "Pan Pizza: Trouble in Tokyo" along with Ken, Nolan, Jim, and special guests stars Tara Strong and John DiMaggio (who were both bribed into being in it).

On January 3, 2017, during 68-SING To ROGUE ONE, he declared war on Mr. Enter (more like Mr. Exit) because Enter is a nitpicker rather than a reviewer and uploaded the same review as Pan. This event caused his fans to begin to expose Mr. Enter as being a rip-off of Pan. This also makes Pan one of the "it gets better later" reviewers. This episode is where Operation: Mr. Exit begins and everyone is watching the amazing war between Pan and Enter.

Pan has a daughter with Cheeralism. Her name is Tuesday or Wednesday. A few weeks after having her Pan lost her in a Target store. this has been mentioned in 1+Lets Play NEOPET Games (@RebelTaxi) Ft: Cheeralism and 81-Pizza Party Podcast - BUBSY Joins EMBER'S Ghost Squad where nolan mentioned her. although her disapearence may lead to the idea of her death there may still be hope for her survival.

Possibility 1: Pan was born after a taxi that was delivering a pizza fell into a volcano, then hit by lightning, then meteor and after that some cosmic rays. Before Baby Pan drowned in the lava he was saved by an eagle. After his amazing birth pan was brought to Heaven where he lived 'till he got kicked out for unmentionable reasons so he went to live in Hell where he was kicked out, this repeated until he was banned from every form of afterlife and the only place left was Earth

Possibility 2: Pan is a failed copy of SCP-963. During the period of time when SCP-963 was being duplicated, one of the failed attempts was tried on a pizza as a joke. The amulet was destroyed by the pizza. The pizza then gained life, this pizza became Pan. This procedure gave Pan two special traits; 1. Pans ability to come back from nearly anything and 2. Pans "personality" also came from the procedure (were talking about Dr. Bright so what do you expect)

Possibility 5: Pan is the aftermath of an exploded penis, the semen which was discharged from it, during the explosion, formed into Pan. this is why he loves goth girls, they are pale as semen, and he is semen, positive self association.

Possibility 7: Pan was the biological child of Steely Dan from part 3 of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, but since he got fucking eviscerated by Jotaro Kujo in 1988 he was instead raised by his father, Rover from Animal Crossing (aka): Pan's Dad. Since Pan's Dad is infertile he had his wife be impregnated with some old sperm sample which belonged to Steely Dan.

Possibility 8: Pan was a lab assistant who quit his job to become a stand up comedian and support his pregnant wife. Unsuccessful, he agrees to help mobsters with a robbery and dons the name Pizza Joe. The heist goes awry after he falls into a vat of chemical waste trying to escape Neros Q, emerging with bleached white skin, deep sunken eyes, and a permanent thirst for goth. This, combined with the earlier accidental death of his wife and unborn child (the latter revealed to be his lost child Tuesday or Wednesday) drives the comedian insane and he becomes Pan Pizza,driver of the RebelTaxi

Possibility 9: Pan is just a weird guy who probably reveres the 90's era of kid shows to the point where he has regressed a bit. Other then being socially awkward to practically everyone, he somehow manages to scrap on by with his figurines and determination alone. I pity those sad fucks that call this man child "friend". He has good taste in music though.

Possibility 13: Pan is likely to be a cousin or long lost relative of Toad from the Mario.Bros series, and he probably got banned from the Mushroom Kingdom for trying to hit on an underage Mushroom.

Possibility 14: Pan is the long lost grandtrap of Rolando Morn leader of the Guatemalan National Revolutionary Unity guerilla group. He's created his YouTube channel to brainwash the youth of America into turning against their government and avenging the CIA and Israel for their sponsorship of crimes against humanity and genocide during the Guatemalan Civil War.

Possibility 16: Pan was born to an albino goth chick and (formerly) the largest cuck in the universe. They abandoned him on the doorstep of an anime convention and from there, he was raised by rats (hence why his room is full of garbage and his own fluids.) Because of this upbringing, he lustfully desires to find his mother and thus looks at every goth thinking "maybe this is finally her," but like everything else in his life, he is always left disappointed and retreats to his fap corner to cry himself to sleep while sniffing officially licensed Raven panties (that, yes, he has worn).

Possibility 17: Pan was born at Dashcon in the ballpit. His parents abandoned him on the doorstep of an anime convention and from there, he was raised by rats (hence why his room is full of garbage)

Possibility 19: Pan was a failed experimental android made by the Frederator crew. But, he ended up having been programmed to make snarky remarks and sexual references. So, they threw him out and let him live on his own. (By the way the type of robot he is is his own term, a "Cuckoid".)

Possibility 20: Pan is actually Henry from KaBlam!, who went to the real world after he broke up from June because he couldn't hide his lust for her anymore. He then wasted most of his time with still being as cringey as always. At least now his tendency for self-loathing humor faded away.

Possibility 21: Pan is actually a failed clone of Raven and the reason for why he's obsessed with her is because he wants to know about his past and he wants to have a brother/sister relationship with her (the anime kind, not the normal kind).

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