Best Books To Improve Communication Skills In English

[Maggie Szydlowski]

Recently, my boss called me into his office to inform me that "several" patients had complained about me. He said patients had complained about me being too direct and even offensive at times with my home-care teaching. He really laid a bombshell on me when he put me on notice that, if he received any more complaints over the next 30 days, I would be fired. Needless to say, I am hurt, angry, and scared.

In all fairness, I must mention that I was fired from my last hygiene job. The reason given was that I was "just not working out," whatever that means. I will always wonder what the true reason was for my termination.

First, allow me to commend you for writing. I know this must have been hard. You show great courage in seeking help, rather than just becoming increasingly resentful. One of life's greatest lessons is that in order for us to grow and mature, we must be willing to identify and uproot those "life weeds" that tend to spring up and take root. Resentment allows those "weeds" to flourish and choke out the goodness and beauty that is waiting just below the surface. When difficult situations come in our lives (and everyone has those times), we can become bitter or better. I believe you want to become better.

Communication is a skill learned throughout life. From the moment we take our first breath, we begin a lifetime of learning to communicate. Some of us become quite effective communicators, while others never seem to develop the skill. Are these skills just given to some naturally and denied others? Granted, while some people are endowed with the "gift of gab," this by itself does not make one a great communicator. My grandmother used to say that a person who talked incessantly could "talk the horns off of a billy goat!" Another great speaker, Bill Brooks, CSP, confers the title, "oral hemophiliac" to those individuals that say very little with many words.

Good communication skills are as important as good clinical skills for all health-care clinicians. Dr. Gary Chapman, noted family counselor, estimates that 85 percent of all broken relationships are caused by communication problems. Further, Mark Swartz, a professor at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York, estimates that 85 percent of all malpractice cases are the result of poor communication rather than actual malpractice.

The best communicators are those individuals who have developed a keen sensitivity to the people with whom they are seeking to communicate. Good communicators have learned to step out of their own preconceptions and consider the thoughts and feelings of others.

Albert Mehrabian, a communication researcher at UCLA, states these findings: words comprise 7 percent of our communication; tone of voice comprises 38 percent; and all other non-verbal forms of communication comprise 55 percent of our total communication. Stated differently, what you don't say can speak louder than what you do say.

Did you know that humans are capable of 20,000 different facial expressions? The most pleasant and most advantageous is a smile! The eight major emotions transmitted facially are happiness, pain, fear, anger, interest, determination, bewilderment, and sadness.

Learning to recognize non-verbal communication can be a powerful tool in the hands of a good communicator. Can you remember that "look" your mother gave you that said, "You better straighten up right now!" She didn't even have to open her mouth to say it, but you knew exactly what she meant.

Have you ever considered how your own non-verbal communication affects your patients? For example, the way in which you receive your patient from the reception room can set the tone for a great appointment. It takes effort to calmly enter the reception room, extend your hand, and warmly greet your patient with a smile. However, it is well worth the effort. Put yourself in your patient's place. I've witnessed office situations where the hygienist or assistant opens the door to the clinical area, shouts out the patient's name, and lets the door slam as she retreats to places unknown. That's not a very soothing introduction to a patient nervously awaiting treatment.

Please remember this fact: Nobody likes to go to the dentist. Anything we can do to make visits more pleasant, starting when the patient walks in the door, is advantageous. There are five essential skills needed in developing a superb chairside manner. Please pay careful attention to each one.

As dental professionals, we need to develop our listening skills to what the patient says verbally and non-verbally. This is called "listening between the lines." Always pay attention and acknowledge you patients' expressions (verbally or non-verbally) of pain, fear, frustration, etc.

Many times we engage in selective listening, whereby we hear only those things we want to hear. We tend to zero in on things our patients say that are good for us, while dismissing or ignoring other parts of the exchange.

Asking patients open-ended questions like, "Tell me about your past dental experiences," gives you an opportunity to listen, listen, listen. Pay attention with your eyes and ears. My very wise grandmother used to say, "Since we were created with two ears and one mouth, we should listen twice as much as we talk!" That sounds like reliable advice.

Once I observed a doctor finish a procedure and leave the chair without a word to the patient. The patient then turned to the assistant and asked, "Is he finished?" This should never happen. Linger long enough to put closure on the appointment. Make sure the patient leaves with a positive word from you.

Additionally, some patients come to us laden with personal problems. I've had patients to open up and share extremely personal problems with me, maybe because I seemed non-threatening. People often feel a desperate need to unburden. In these rare instances, I can be a sympathetic listener. You should consider it a compliment when a patient trusts you enough to share a problem with you. However, you must be willing to linger.

Can you feel what they feel? Do you care enough to try? Are you willing to be their dental caregiver and their friend? If your answer is 'yes,' you have the foundation that is necessary for building long-term, connected relationships with loyal patients.

Obviously, there are some problems with your communication skills. The good news is that if you can put the hurt, resentment, and fear behind you, you have an excellent opportunity to learn and grow. Two additional suggestions are:

Finally, in giving home-care instructions, take care not to use "you" statements, such as, "You are not brushing well in this area." Rather, say, "I see this area needs more attention." Take the focus off the patient and on to the behavior. Also, be sensitive to the volume and tone of voice you use. Be gentle and supportive.

Think about your appearance. What does your style say? Consider these aspects of appearance: attire, make-up, jewelry, hair, posture, gait, and facial expressions. The key to remember is this: present yourself each day in the manner that is in your best interest, both professionally and personally.

He wrote, "Attire of the healthcare provider is important to patients across all lines of population and geography studied to date; young or old, child or parent, Eastern or Western, Northern or Southern. Among professional apparel, the name tag and the white coat are most preferred by patients."

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These top books to improve communication skills will help the readers to overcome the challenges in communication and understand the science of effective communication that matters to anyone in any situation.

Thomas Erikson is a Swedish, active lecturer, behavioral expert, and bestselling author. For more than fifteen years he is delivering lectures and seminars in Swedish and English to managers and executives in many countries.

Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson, is one of the best books to develop communication skills, which offers a simple method for assessing the personalities of people around us to communicate with and provides insights on how we can adjust the way we frame, speak and share information for effective communication.

This book is written on the basis of his dedication to understanding people and meeting with a highly successful entrepreneur, on the subject of why we often struggle to connect with certain types of people.

And if you want to communicate effectively with that person, you need to use the phrases, words, and behavior that exactly fit the other person. Shelle Rose Charvet shows you how to match your language to people around you and make effective communication.

Frank Luntz is American most respected communication professional. Frank Luntz lives in Alexandria, VA. Frank Luntz used his knowledge of words to help many fortune 500 companies to grow exponentially.

Dr. Mark Goulston is the inventor of Surgical Empathy. He is the co-author of many books and teaches, coaches, and meandered many CEO globally. He also went on to train police hostage negotiators and the FBI. Mark Goulston is a passionate social activist and he focuses on empowering the African American community.

The first make-or-break step to getting the communication effective is having them hear from you. The invaluable principles and messages in the just listen to book will get you through that first tough step with anyone and make the entire communication effective.

The best communication book for leaders, Power Questions helps to Build Relationships, Win New Business, Influence Others, and make an immediate connection with anyone and it is the book of beautiful questions. In addition, Power Questions sets out a series of strategic questions that help dramatically deepen your professional and personal relationships.

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