Actually, for the Ref benie, its choice in struggle.
Larkin
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Five ‘rules’ to follow …
1) Practice the 3 Rs, Respect for self,
Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions.
2) The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your
need for each other.
3) Never impose on others to do for you something which you have the resources
and ability to do for yourself.
4) Don't expect those with little or no common sense to use wisdom in their
life choices.
5) Always have a plan B, which of course presupposes that you have a plan A.