Grouchiness Remedies

[da5zeay]

I've been feeling a little grouchy the past few days, to the point of
not wanting to really talk to anyone. Or so I thought. Today I called a
few people that I needed to call, and afterwards I actually felt
better, which was TOTALLY unexpected. I'm feeling quite a bit less
grouchy as a result. Which has me thinking about grouchiness remedies.

It's the kind grouchiness is the kind that is combined with the
blahs...like combining muggy weather with heat. Either of them by
themselves is OK, but together it's really ucky to deal with. The funny
thing is that I suspect I am INDULGING in my grouchiness...I *want* to
feel grouchy. It's very strange. Very very strange.

Having written that, though, I'm seeing how silly it is, and I am
feeling even a little bit better. Maybe I just needed to tell the world
I was grouchy :-)

Do you have any grouchiness remedies?

[da5zeay]

A followup thought: maybe seeing grouchiness as something that needs
remedy is the wrong approach. I could also embrace the grouchiness as
just a way I'm feeling, and then maybe channel the grouchiness into
something good. Like Oscar the Grouch! Grouch-Fu or Grouchido!

[Rob Drimmie]

I don't know if it's a remedy, but just stating that I'm grouchy (usually to my wife, who has to put up with me after a long day at work) immediately deflates the grouchiness.  I don't think there's anything better for it than just declaring it. 

I completely understand what you mean by indulging your grouchiness, too.  It's a fairly selfish state of mind.

[da5zeay]

That's a good point: being selfish is sometimes necessary. I guess I am
relishing that this week :-) My grouchiness seems to have faded away
after cleaning my living room, and feeling some measure of
accomplishment.

One of my best friends and I have a deal: if we need to vent, we'll
first preface the venting with a "ok, I'm going to vent". So I might
say that, then vent vent rant rant, and close with "I'm done". The deal
is that the other person just lets you vent, and doesn't read anything
into it. It's just forgotten. It's a handy deal to have in place...
sounds like you and your wife have something very similar....thanks for
sharing!

[Think_n_See]

Rob, isn't that incredible...? I've found a similar thing... just
stating something decreases the intensity of it. Saying "I'm angry"
decreases anger. Saying "I'm sad" decreases wallowing. It's almost
like, "Ok, now I can move on."

da5zeay, and that's kind of your support (from small successes, the
'get support' suggestion)... someone with whom you can vent... that is
good support.

Rob and da5zeay, isn't it just crazy how much reality is influenced by
what goes on inside that mass of the head? So interesting that all of
these things - grouchy, sad, angry, happy - are so influenced by one
thought triggering a next thought, triggering a third, etc. Just the
dialoging between you and you is fascinating. What do the different
parts of yourself think?

[Rob Drimmie]

On 5/2/06, da5zeay <dave...@gmail.com> wrote:

relishing that this week :-) My grouchiness seems to have faded away
after cleaning my living room, and feeling some measure of
accomplishment.

I think this is pretty significant, too.  When I remember to do it, washing the dishes really helps clear my mind and work through my grouchiness.  That measure of accomplishment is nice.  For me, much of the source of my grouchiness is work, oftentimes I'll go an entire day without feeling that I've done anything significant, and even just the simple process of turning a pile of dirty pots and pans into a shiny clean counter is enough of a Thing That Was Done to be able to feel... if not proud than at least that I've gotten *something* done.

I think the fact that it's fairly easy labour and gives me a bit of time to think about the grouchiness and wallow in it is nice too.  I can spend half an hour or whatever grumbling and splashing and clanging and the actual task is easy enough that I can dedicate most of my mental energy to working through the grump.  The combination of a half hour of good self-pity, plus an accomplished task really help lift the veil.

[bmcgar45]

I like that idea of maybe seeing grouchiness as something that doesn't
need to be remedied... i'll have to study that idea. ;)

However, i have found that often my grouchiness seems to be related to
my physical environment being cluttered and disorganized. So some
simple cleaning, and putting things back where they belong always
helps. So perhaps cleaning is the remedy, but perhaps clutter is
contributing to the grouchiness... it seems that way for me anyway. I
recall a year ago when i was focused on flylady.net and my house was
tidy that i felt much more at peace.

Thanks for starting this topic.

[da5zeay]

One thing that makes me grouchy is meeting grouchy people, negative
people, or mean people. It can bring out the worst in me...I have
little patience for it. One thing I need to try is to not get worked up
by people being less-than-positive-at-your-expense. Maybe I just need
to laugh more with them.

I wonder why they get under my skin so much.

[Think_n_See]

Probably because ever since we were babies, we imitated.
Probably when you're around negative people, you start to subtly
imitate.
And you must not like yourself how you are when you do that.
That's good that you can tell when it's affecting you.

[da5zeay]

Oh, that's an interesting point! That's very perceptive. I forgot what
it was like to be around negative people...

On a related note, I was watching, of all things, an episode of "The
Cosby Show" by accident. I never watched it much when it was more
popular, but I had seen enough episodes to remember that Dr. Huxtable
liked projecting an aura of grouchiness. But as I watched, his
character also projected an underlying care that was very positive. I
liked the way he asked questions of his TV brood and interacted with
them. Maybe it's too much to expect to live up to a TV show, but
suddenly I have a better idea of what it means to be demanding and
positive at the same time! I need more colorful sweaters though :-)