BOOK: "What Happy People Know"
Think_n_See
"What Happy People Know" by Dan Baker, Ph.D. and Cameron Stauth (Rodale
Books, 2003).
FIVE HAPPINESS TRAPS
The authors describe happiness traps as those things we do because we
think they'll result in happiness, but that end up resulting in fear,
and thus keeping happiness out of reach. Pretty not-cool, right?
Happiness traps:
1. Trying to buy happiness
2. Trying to find happiness through pleasure
3. Trying to be happy by resolving the past (this one was
interesting!!)
4. Trying to be happy by overcoming weaknesses
5. Trying to force happiness
To read more of this article:
Part One: http://www.care2.com/channels/solutions/bms/1323
Part Two: http://www.care2.com/channels/solutions/self/1326
Also, the authors say there are SIX HAPPINESS TOOLS to be really happy.
Here's an excerpt from another article in the same publication.
Happiness tools:
"1. Appreciation.
... Appreciation is the purest, strongest form of love. ... Research
now shows that it is physiologically impossible to be in a state of
appreciation and a state of fear at the same time. Thus, appreciation
is the antidote to fear.
2. Choice.
Choice is the father of freedom ... Anyone can choose the course of
their lives, but only happy people do it.
3. Personal power
... Personal power has two components: taking responsibility and taking
action. ...
4. Leading with your strengths.
When you give in to the automatic fear reaction, it makes you focus on
your weaknesses, which only reinforces your fear. But when you take the
path of the intellect and spirit, you naturally begin to focus on your
strengths--and start to solve your situation. ...
5. The power of language and stories.
We don't describe the world we see--we see the world we describe.
.... Similarly, the stories we tell ourselves about our own lives
eventually become our lives. We can tell healthy stories or horror
stories. The choice is ours.
6. Multidimensional living.
There are three primary components of life: relationships, health, and
purpose (which is usually work). ... Happiness comes from a full life.
"
To see this article: http://www.care2.com/channels/solutions/bms/1320
LoveBelief
In reading this article, I had some thoughts.
In the first happiness trap, trying to buy happiness, the article
reviewer ends with:
"Face facts: Scarcity is burned into your brain. You'll probably
never feel as if you have enough money. It's time you accept this.
And rise above it."
There is a solution to this trap: Gratitude. Gratitude, gratitude,
gratitude my friends! Practice and cultivate this, and this trap will
dissappear.
I only half-agree with #3. I would say that a combined and balanced
approach of psychoanalysis and cognitive behavioral therapy works best.
Much of the time, a cognative solution won't work because the client
continuously sabotages his (and his therapist's) best efforts at
creating new behaviors and thoughts. Only when his patterns and beliefs
that were laid in his past, and now reside in his unconscious, are
brought to the surface and understood by the client and the therapist
is the pattern broken. Not everything is like that. Some things are bad
habits, plain and simple. Other things are damaging behaviors based in
negative self-beliefs and past traumas. Life isn't simple, and neither
is the human mind.
Again, partly agree with #4, but this time I mostly agree. Sometimes we
just need to work on our weeknesses, plain and simple. Most of the
time, though, we should NOT base our wellness and worth on how much of
our weaknesses we have overcome. We were born with strengths for a
reason... let's spend time to find out why!
The six tools. I'd rename them. His descriptions are a bit obtuse.
#1 Gratitude
#2 & 3 Kinda go hand-in-hand. Oprah calls this one "owning your life."
Own the decisions you make - all of them.
#4 - totally agree!! Lead with our strengths!!! :)
#5 Positive self-talk.
#6 A balanced life.
Hope this was positive enough. I love not only talking about this
stuff, but also discussing points of view on this stuff.
Think_n_See
Yes, I'd agree with your summaries of those six tools. I'd suggest to
add to #5 about positive self-talk... to add something about it being
stories. There is something so alive and actionable in stories.
Something so go-getter-like. It's visual, and I think that's part of
it. Stories have a beginning, middle, and end. They somehow engage us
as people. It's almost primal.
And I totally agree with your assessment of the Leading with Strengths,
that weaknesses are to some extent appropriate too - but that strengths
is the thing still to start with.