Witty Philosophers Of This Century...

[Subodh Kansal]

 

Witty Philosophy for the week-end.
Remember, you look better when you smile!

Philosophers Of This Last Century...


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  ~ John Glenn...
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.


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  ~ David Letterman...
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

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  ~ Howard Hughes...
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire.

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   ~ Old Italian proverb...
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

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  ~ Betsy Salkind...
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.
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   ~ Jean Kerr...
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
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  ~ Prince Philip...
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

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  ~ Emo Philips...
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
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  ~ Harrison Ford...
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

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   ~ Spike Milligan...
The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree.


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  ~ Jean Rostand...
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.

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  ~  Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.

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  ~ WH Auden...
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

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  ~ Jonathan Katz...
In hotel rooms, I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.
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  ~ Johnny Carson...
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
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  ~ Warren Tantum... (School photo album).
I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very sceptical.
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  ~ Steve Martin...
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.

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  ~ Jimmy Durante...
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

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  ~ Doug Hanwell...
America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.

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  ~ George Roberts...
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

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  ~ Jonathan Winters...
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.

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  ~ Robert Benchley...
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.