Humour! Read and Relax on a quiet Sunday evening!
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Murali Ranganathan
Oct 18, 2015, 7:02:27 AM10/18/15
to guntak...@googlegroups.com
Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in
1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country
has ever known. Enjoy the following:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither
works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and
put it back in your pocket.
8. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
9. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back
every now and then to make sure it's still there.
10. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n
puttin' it back in.
11. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so
good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came
along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull,
keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First -- Eventually you will reach a point when you stop
lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second -- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth
waiting in line for.
Third -- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not
me, I want people to know why I look this way. I've
traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth -- You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
Fifth -- One must wait until evening to see how splendid
the day has been.
Sixth -- Being young is beautiful, but being old is
comfortable.
Seventh -- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called
golf.
And finally -- If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you
won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country
has ever known. Enjoy the following:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither
works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and
put it back in your pocket.
8. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
9. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back
every now and then to make sure it's still there.
10. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n
puttin' it back in.
11. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so
good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came
along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull,
keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First -- Eventually you will reach a point when you stop
lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second -- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth
waiting in line for.
Third -- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not
me, I want people to know why I look this way. I've
traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth -- You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
Fifth -- One must wait until evening to see how splendid
the day has been.
Sixth -- Being young is beautiful, but being old is
comfortable.
Seventh -- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called
golf.
And finally -- If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you
won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
Skype: r..murali
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