Le Fantasie

[Deb Cartelli]

DrJanet Brito is a nationally certified Latinx sex therapist, supervisor, speaker, and trainer. Dr. Brito is the founder and owner of the Hawaii Center for Sexual and Relationship Health, a group practice that specializes in relationship and sex therapy, out of control sexual behavior, and gender and sexually diverse populations, and The Sexual Health School, an online training program for healthcare professionals seeking human sexuality training.

Eyes glued to the screen during that Game of Thrones scene (yes, the one where Theon Greyjoy gets naked with two drop-dead queens)? Hand travel between your legs at the thought of a multi-person orgy?

Others fantasize about their partner sleeping with others. Cuckolding is the specific fantasy of letting your partner have sex with someone else, but only if you get to watch or hear about it (in detail) after the fact.

Some people clearly know that they want one romantic partner but want to be sexually explorative with other people. Other people want deep, romantic relationships with more than one person at a time.

Or, live out your fantasy. But understand that nonethical non-monogamy is violating the rules or boundaries of your relationship and there may be consequences such as feelings of guilt, or your partner leaving you if they find out.

Placing a mirror in front of your bed so you can watch yourself, going to a sex club or party, or consensually role-playing Voyeur or Exhibitionist with your partner(s) may help you explore a similar sensation.

In some cases, these fantasies may be rooted in a desire to explore your sexuality or gender identity and presentation. However, experts say in most cases it stems from a desire to be comfortable in your skin with a partner.

For instance, men are more likely than other genders to have multi-partner or taboo fantasies. Women are most likely to have BDSM or romance fantasies, and have them more frequently than other genders.

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