11/13/06 Grif.Net - New Hunting Regulations
Dr Bob Griffin
office. People there probably thought it was a joke!! :) ]
NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS
(U.S. Government Department of Fish and "WildLife", Sec. 1200c)
1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of
currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally
struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine,
helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier"
for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW
dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms,
law libraries, brothels, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to
hunt, "entrap", or possess it.
9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department
inspection for rabies and vermin.
10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug
dealer, pimp, legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant
for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS (Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)
1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 1
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 4
4. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 BOUNTY
5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
6. Honest Attorney On Endangered Species List
(Illegal to hunt)
7. Cut-throat 2
8. Back-stabbing Whiner 2
9. Judge Kisser 2
10. Anyone Judge Judy is nice to Never been sighted
~~
Dr Bob, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given