05/10/22 Grif.Net - Airplane Announcements (part 2)
b...@grif.net
[I always enjoy flight attendants and pilots who have ‘fun’ with announcements.]
“Hello and welcome to Alaska flight 438 to San Francisco. If you’re going to San Francisco, you’re in the right place. If you’re not going to San Francisco, you’re about to have a long evening.”
After a bumpy landing: “That was a rough one. Since you all survived, we expect you to keep all those promises you just made.”
“Hi, I’m Captain Amanda Smith. Yes, I’m a female pilot and as a benefit, if we get lost on the way I won’t be afraid to stop and ask for directions.”
“This aircraft is equipped to land on water….once.”
“Please return your seats to their upright and most uncomfortable position.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen welcome aboard this Southwest flight to Denver. We will be taking off just as soon I get through page 10 of this flight manual.”
From a passenger, after a series of noises and shuddering bumps during arrival: “Did we land or were we shot down?”
“Please be careful when opening the overhead bins because shift happens.”
“Sorry about the bumpy landing. It’s not the captain’s fault. It’s not the co-pilot’s fault. It’s the Asphalt.”
“In the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety features of this plane. I usually use it as a fan when I’m having my own personal summer. It makes a very good fan.”
“Thanks for flying with us today. We hope you enjoyed giving us your business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"