05/11/22 Grif.Net - Airplane Announcements (part 3)
b...@grif.net
[I always enjoy flight attendants and pilots who have ‘fun’ with announcements.]
“Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive.”
After a bumpy landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”
“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments.”
“We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them were available for this flight.”
“For those of you wondering about the weather at our destination, Honolulu is reporting sunny skies and temperatures of 86 degrees. Unfortunately, our destination is Nome Alaska which is reporting 27 degrees below zero and blowing snow.”
“No smoking is allowed, not even in the toilets. Don’t be naughty in our potty. If you do there is a $2,000 fine, and if you had that kind of money, you’d be flying United instead of Southwest.”
While waiting at the gate “Sorry for the delay folks but the machine that breaks your luggage is broken. We’ll have you off the plane as soon as we get done breaking it by hand.”
After a plane taxied for a long time: “If you look to your right that was the terminal we left an hour ago. I hope you enjoyed your tour of the airport. We should be leaving shortly.”
“We’ll be landing as soon as we get closer to the ground.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"