03/21/24 Grif.Net - Modern Job Applications
b...@grif.net
ODD CONFESSIONS ON JOB APPLICATIONS:
JOB EXPERIENCE:
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job."
"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:
"Responsibility makes me nervous."
"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. I couldn't work under those demanding conditions."
"They made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous jobs."
EDUCATION:
"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
"Finished eighth in my class of ten."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
JOB OBJECTIVES:
"My goal is to be a meteorologist. Since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."
"It's best for employers that I not work with people."
PERSONAL INTERESTS:
"Marital status: often. Children: various."
"Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."
"Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
REFERENCES:
"None. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"
