04/09/21 Grif.Net - Church Typos (part 3)
Robert Griffin
[In spite of popular request, we are adding even MORE errors found in church bulletins.]
“Diana and Dan request your presents at their wedding.”
“Helpers are needed. Please sign up on the volunteer sheep.”
“After the first hymn we will have a time of greeting. Find someone who doesn’t know you and say ‘Hell’ to them.”
“If all the pews are full when you arrive, please wait in the aisle for help from one of our pushers.”
“All those with rolls in the Christmas Pageant area asked to meet 15 minutes early in the church kitchen.”
“Next Sunday’s message from Exodus describes the Israelites crossing the Red Sea and walking through the dessert.”
“Our soloist has returned from having plastic surgery, and the choir is happy to welcome her back with a joyful nose.”
“The outreach committee is enlisting volunteers to visit people in our community who are not already afflicted with another church.”
“Mrs. Green would like to thank all who assisted her after her fall on the ice last Sunday. Doctors x-rated her pelvis and found no fractures.”
“Blessing of the pets will follow our normal worship. Please keep all dogs on leashes in the barking lot.”
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Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"