12/08/05 Grif.Net - Failing a Final Exam
Dr Bob Griffin
do in a final that does not matter (i.e. you are going to fail the class
completely no matter WHAT you get on the final exam).
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes.
Wake up, say "oh my, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn
it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the
secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long
answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the
integral symbol.
4. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say
to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every
lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the
regular guy?"
5. Bring a Game Boy and play with the volume at max level.
6. On the answer sheet (blue book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to
refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this
question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
creative.
7. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very
small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If
you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the
first one.
8. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
9. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one
up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
10. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another
seat, continue with the exam.
Bonus: Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out,
start commenting on how easy it was.
~~
Dr Bob
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given