01/12/17 Grif.Net - Australia Bound?
Robert Griffin
Travelers to Australia (still on my bucket list) ACTUALLY ASKED these question on the tourism web site, and here are the ACTUAL ANSWERS Aussies gave to go with them. (Who says there is no humor Down Under?)
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much alcohol you've consumed ...
Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A: Excellent question, considering 99% of tourism is on the other end of the continent.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, its' only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago ...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: And accomplish what?
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: I'm not touching this one ...
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No. Everybody stinks.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Yes. At Christmas.
Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.
Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: What's this guy smoking?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: Another blonde?
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Sure, but unless you bring your own snake on the plane, remember there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face North and you should be about right.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.
Q: Will I be abel to speek Amercan most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"