09/16/26 Grif.Net - Philosophy of Life
b...@grif.net
Reprinted from Grif.Net 25 years ago ~
[Understand that comedian George Carlin has given us some of his philosophy of life. Found them humorous and give him 100% credit and/or blame.]
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
4. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
5. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
6. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
7. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
8. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
9. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
10. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
12. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“From all harm safe in His sheltering arms
I'm living by faith and feel no alarm.”
