05/13/22 Grif.Net - Airplane Announcements (part 5)
b...@grif.net
[I always enjoy flight attendants and pilots who have ‘fun’ with announcements.]
“To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; if you don’t know how to operate a seat belt you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”
“The signs on the ceiling and the disco lights on the floor will lead you to the exits.”
“We wouldn’t have shown up for work tonight if we’d anticipated a decompression in the cabin pressure.”
“For your safety and those you might fall on, please keep your seat belt fastened.”
“You will find the safety briefing card in your seat pocket. It is beautiful and has lots of nice pictures.”
Announced during a period of turbulence: “No need to be alarmed folks, that’s just the sound of your luggage being ejected from the aircraft.”
“In the unlikely event of a water landing, just think of the incredible story you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren.”
“If you are traveling with someone who needs assistance, put your own mask on first then assist the other passenger – unless it is my ex-boyfriend, and then don’t bother.”
“I’ve just been informed that my mother-in-law has just passed security and will be shortly boarding this flight using one of my crew passes. If you all sit down fast, we should be able to get out of here before she arrives.”
“Prior to takeoff the flight attendants will be walking up and down the aisle to make sure all of you have matching socks.”
“Please refrain from smoking until you reach a designated smoking area, which, for California, is Las Vegas.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"