11/24/25 Grif.Net - Funny Thanksgiving Quotations
b...@grif.net
"Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative finally goes home."
— Melanie White
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
— Erma Bombeck
“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”
— Jay Leno
"I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast."
— Charlie Brown
“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”
— Johnny Carson
“A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear them consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping.”
— Jimmy Fallon
"I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it."
— Robert Brault
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”
— Irv Kupcinet
“If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
— Carl Sagan
"Thanksgiving — when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook."
— Melanie White
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Dr. Bob Griffin
“Abhorring all my sin, adoring only Him”
