01/25/23 Grif.Net - At the Office
b...@grif.net
What is the best way to criticize your boss?
Very quietly, so he cannot hear you.
Our computers went down at the office today, so we had to do everything manually.
It took me fifteen minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
Why do I drink so much coffee at work?
I like to do stupid things faster and with more energy.
What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market?
Start off with a big fortune.
How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that’s a hardware issue.
New owner made ours a paperless office.
Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
A salesperson came into an office one day and said, “This computer will cut your workload by 50%!”
The office manager replied “Great, I’ll take two of them!”
I always tell new hires “Don’t think of me as your boss.”
Then add, “Think of me as your friend who can fire you.”
When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said angrily “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?”
I said, “No, not particularly.”
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer…
Oh wait, he does.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"