06/25/19 Grif.Net - Medical Transcriptions
Robert Griffin
This is a collection of funny one-liners from the doctor’s notes, exactly as typed by medical secretaries:
· Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
· On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
· The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 2013.
· Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
· Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
· Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
· While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home.
· Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
· Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
· She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot at bedtime last night.
· The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
· Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
· Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
· The patient refused autopsy.
· The patient has no previous history of suicides.
· She is numb from her toes down.
· She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
· Patient was found in the bed with a lawn mower.
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Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"