01/21/06 Weekend Grif.Net - Getting Older
Dr Bob Griffin
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always
wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the
wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging backside. And often I am taken
aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over
those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family
for less gray hair, firmer under arms or a flatter belly.
As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself.
I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra
cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that
I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to
overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends
leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that
comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4
a.m, and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes
of the 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I
will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body
and will dive into the waves with abandon, if I choose to, despite the
pitying glances from the bikini set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as
well forgotten ... and I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break
when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved
pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and
understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile
and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to
have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So
many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn
silver. I can say "no," and mean it. I can say "yes." and mean it.
As I get older, it is easier to be positive. I care less about what other
people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to
be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being older. It has set me free. I like
the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am
still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or
worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day!
[Author Unknown]
~~
Dr Bob
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