04/07/16 Grif.Net - Overheard from Friends
Robert Griffin
“Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I've only missed one day.”
"A few weeks ago my dad decided he was going to order pizza using his iPad. He's almost done."
“I saw a guy accidentally swallow some Scrabble tiles. I'm thinking that his next bowel movement could spell disaster.”
“I am transfinancial, which means I’m a rich man in a poor person’s body. Help stop the hate by sending money to . . . “
“Being around kids has convinced me that their ears are for decorative purposes only.”
“Eating two strips of bacon for breakfast each morning reduces your chance of being a suicide bomber by 100%”
“I changed my car horn to a gunshot sound. People move out of the way a lot faster now.”
“Libraries are a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn't be allowed to talk.”
“When someone mentions pizza, I want pizza. When someone mentions doughnuts I want a doughnut. When someone mentions garden-fresh romaine salad I want pizza. And maybe a doughnut.”
“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.”
“Caution. When someone tells you to ‘get a grip’, apparently it does not mean around their neck. Who knew?”
"Son, your father and I have something to tell you. You were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car."
“If tomatoes are a fruit, isn’t ketchup really then just a smoothie?”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"