09/13/10 Grif.Net - Flight Attendant Humor
Dr. Bob
airline staff]
Pilot on public intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising
altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort
and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
----o0o---
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of
this airplane."
---o0o---
"Thank you for flying our airline. We hope you enjoyed giving us the
business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
---o0o---
From an airline employee: "Welcome aboard flight 271 . To operate your seat
belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just
like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you
probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
---o0o---
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll
try to have them fixed before we arrive."
----o0o---
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our
compliments."
---o0o---
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses."
---o0o---
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Our airline is pleased to
announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry.
Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
---o0o---
Heard just after a very hard landing as the flight attendant came on the
intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are
thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the
pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault; it was the asphalt."
---o0o---
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask
you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
---o0o---
And a BONUS: (My favorite)
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from
the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If
you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before
assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child,
pick your favorite."
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
b...@grif.net www.grif.net
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"