06/11/25 Grif.Net - New Church for a New Millennia
b...@grif.net
[Each month in 2025, we wander unsupervised down memory lane, repeating the Grif Net email/blog posts for an entire week from 25 years ago (June 2000).]
Has the heaviness of your old-fashioned church got you weighed down? Try us in 2000! We are the New and Improved "LITE CHURCH of the Valley".
**Studies have shown we have 24% fewer commitments than other churches.
**We guarantee to trim off guilt, because we are Low-Cal. (Low Calvin, that is.)
**We are the home of the 6.9% tithe.
**We promise 35-minute worship services, including 7-minute sermonettes by the Veggie Tale gang.
**We are focusing this Sunday on the exciting text of the “Feeding of the Five Hundred”.
**We have only 6 Commandments -- Your choice!!
**We use just 3 gospels in our contemporary New Testament titled "Good Sound Bites for Modern Human Beings".
**We take the offering every other week! (All major credit cards accepted)
**We are looking forward with great anticipation to our 500-year Millenium.
Yes, the New and Improved "LITE CHURCH of the Valley" could be just what you are looking for. We are everything you want in a church . . . and less!
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
"Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!"
