Hamster Giant
Giorgio Aguilar
From the lore of Dungeons & Dragons Spelljammer: Adventures in Space comes the Giant Space Hamster! This creature, usually the size of a brown bear, now comes to you the size of a teddy bear! Though Giant Space Hamsters usually go about their lives independently, they also make great mounts and pets and can form a bond with their owners. Now you can make a loveable, squeezable giant Space Hamster friend of your own with this Phunny plush, which is over 7 inches in height. Made from the softest premium materials and love.
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Reza Baluchi was taken in by the U.S. Coast Guard last week while trying to cross the Atlantic in a "hydro pod" made of buoys. Authorities in Flagler County, Fla., responded to Baluchi and his vessel in 2021 and posted photos of his vessel on Facebook. Flagler County (Fla.) Sheriff's Office on Facebook hide caption
According to a criminal complaint filed in U.S. district court in South Florida, the Coast Guard cutter Valiant came across Baluchi and his homemade vessel about 70 nautical miles east of Tybee Island, Ga., on Aug. 26 as the Coast Guard was preparing for Hurricane Franklin.
When the officers tried again over the next day or so to get Baluchi to join them on the small boat, Baluchi displayed two knives and threatened to hurt himself if officers boarded his vessel. Baluchi also "threatened to blow himself up," along with his vessel. The officers saw him holding wires in his hand and believed him, the complaint says.
The following day, a second Coast Guard cutter, named Campbell, arrived and sent a small boat to Baluchi to deliver food, water and word that the hurricane was expected. Baluchi refused again to leave his vessel, and told the officers that the bomb wasn't real.
On August 29, the Campbell once more sent a small boat, and this time was able to safely remove Baluchi from his floating hamster wheel. Baluchi was brought ashore in Miami Beach last Friday, where he was released on $250,000 bond.
Baluchi is a man of big dreams and unorthodox methods. Not long after arriving in the U.S., he was profiled in The New York Times as he began a quest to run across the country, Forrest Gump-style. He reportedly finished the coast-to-coast journey not once but twice.
"One of our sectors, Sector Miami, got a call from a concerned boater that there was a man in a bubble that was lost and was asking for directions to Bermuda," Coggeshall told VICE. "It became really obvious really fast that he wasn't a sailor, didn't know the ocean, and was unequipped to do what he was attempting to do."
"We referred to it as the hamster wheel of doom," Coggeshall remembered, adding that temperatures could get up to 120 degrees inside the bubble, and that Baluchi was more likely to get pushed to England or swept into a swirling eddy in the middle of the Atlantic than make it from Florida to Bermuda.
The Coast Guard tried to take him in but he didn't want to go, Coggeshall said, and stayed with him for a day or so before leaving him be. "A day or two later, a cold front knocked the bubble on his side, so [Baluchi] set off what's called a spot device," and the Coast Guard went and rescued him. (Baluchi said he turned on the beacon accidentally.) The Captain of the Port of Miami ordered Baluchi not to attempt to travel to Bermuda in his bubble.
"Make me crazy," Baluchi is seen telling the Coast Guard officers. "I've been five years, like, do this thing. They stop me every time, they save my life. I don't no need it, save my life. I don't no need it."
He told the officers that he had five or six lights and two life jackets. "I have a GPS. I have a laptop [to] watch movie," Baluchi protested. But the officers said his voyage was unsafe and based on the Captain of the Port order and his physical condition, the officers hauled him in.
And they sank his bubble as a hazard to navigation. "They shot, they sink my bubble," Baluchi told VICE. "No more bubble I have." With it sank all off his supplies. Coggeshall said the cost to taxpayers for the Coast Guard response was about $144,000.
In 2021, Baluchi's redesigned hamster wheel made headlines when it came onshore in Flagler County, Fla. Bodycam footage shows his interaction with the responding officers from the Flagler County Sheriff's Office. "Where are you supposed to land?" the officer asks.
The Giant Hamster of the Alsace is a remarkable creature. It is one of the most endangered animals in France and one of the least loved. It is almost 10 inches long, covered in golden fur with a bizarre black and white spotted tummy, big eyes and delicate paws. The French care so little about this wonderful teddy bear, that the European Council had to fine them millions of euros before the government did anything at all to help the last 180 animals in the country.
The real problem for Giant Hamsters is maize. The low land parts of the Alsace are absolutely covered in it. This monoculture has been a disaster for so much flora and fauna in Europe. The plant takes for ever to germinate and the bare soil is washed away every year in spring rains. The farmers plant right to the field boundary leaving no millimetre for wild flowers and animals. Anything that might get a toe hold in an uneven corner is sprayed dead with weedkiller and/or mowed flat.
These sturdy, intelligent burly creatures reproduce only once a year, have small broods and do not respond well to captivity; so getting their numbers up has been as difficult as breeding giant pandas! The population is still critically low at only 200 and they need to creep up to a massive 1500 to have sustainable numbers.
It seems curious that first world country like France can allow such an iconic and adorable creature to be lost . They are already extinct in neighbouring Switzerland, and so I wish the last few all the luck they can cram in to their round furry cheeks.
These creatures were apparently quite intelligent and had the ability to talk in whispers, though most of the time they just made normal hamster squeaks.[5] They were considerably more intelligent than regular hamsters and possessed short-range telepathic abilities, which they kept hidden from most creatures they encountered.[1] According to advertising brochures found in Sigil, they were gentle with children.[6]
If they found themselves in a fight, miniature giant space hamsters had the ability to target the eyes of their opponents with a ferocious attack, which was capable of blinding them for a few seconds.[1]
Unlike most giant space hamster variants, miniature giant space hamsters did not fill the ecological niches usually associated with large animals such as rhinos and elephants and were instead usually kept as pets.[2] Although being native to wildspace, they could be found on many worlds of the Prime Material plane.[1]
Like all giant space hamsters, they were not naturally evolving creatures, but were instead created by gnomes originally from Krynn.[2] Gnomes experimented with giant space hamster breeding by mixing enchanted substances from a variety of monsters into the process, which produced several varieties of giant space hamster. Among those, miniature giant space hamsters were one of the more unusual varieties.[2]
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