Hi Michael,
Frustration is perfectly OK. You're trying a lot of new things in taking on this project!
My guess is that the rewrite rules in the .htaccess are not taking effect, and Will's idea was the first thing to check. I'll make a few assumptions (which may be incorrect) about your setup so I can give some specific instructions. If I'm right, in order to get the rewrite rules to work, run:
sudo a2enmod rewrite
then restart Apache.
Try it again, and if that doesn't work, edit the Apache virtual host:
sudo nano /etc/apache2/sites-enabled/000-default.conf
Look for something like <Directory /var/www> and below that find an AllowOverride line. Change it to say
AllowOverride All
Then restart Apache and look at GotS again. If that doesn't work, look for the same line and make the same change in /etc/apache2/apache2.conf. Restart Apache and try it again.
Let us know how that goes and then we'll go from there. I hope we can get you up and running!
Mike