World Hash Events: April 2013

[Haz]

Hello hashers,

Well you know what the wise hasher says . . . it is all about the 7 Ps . . . Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. Which means, with more than 25 hash events to choose from in April, you better start planning if you want to be a part of any of them. I plan on hitting a couple of them myself.

There are some major events coming up, like Nash Hashes in the Philippines and Belgium, and a week long line of pre-lubes for Aussie Nash in May. There is a 20th Anniversary and a 2000th Run, and also thrown into the mix is the start of 80 days of hashing around the world (for a mere 30,000 - 40,000 Euros, you too can be part of that action.)

So put on your thinking toque eh, and book your travel plans now!

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I know everyone is busy, there is certainly plenty of hashing to be done, but if hash clubs around the world could take a moment to check the contact information for your hash club, on your regional hash websites (you can see them listed in the upper left corner on this website - http://gotothehash.net/ ). If you could check your club data and provide any changes, that would be much appreciated for all the crazy traveling hashers. I know I get frustrated when I am planning a trip, and look up the local hash clubs in that area, only to be discouraged by dead webpages and email addresses. Just a few moments of your time is all we ask, thanks!

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If you happen to be on Facebook, you can also get regular hash event updates from the Go To The Hash page . . . http://www.facebook.com/GoToTheHash

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Last month I put out a request for info on hashing HOTSPOTS, but did not get much response. I figure that is either because no one reads this rag, or no one wants me in their town. Point taken. This next joke may explain why. :O)

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And now for something completely different: My apologies in advance . . .

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear . . . 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Let's get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either . . . but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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For your planning pleasure, here is a list of the worldwide hash events available in April 2013. You can also see all the known events taking place the next 2 years at http://gotothehash.net/hashevents.html

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Apr 5-7
Away Weekend
Hosted in Sonthofen, Germany.
Flyer - http://gotothehash.net/rego/sonthofenflyer.doc
Rego - http://gotothehash.net/rego/sonthofenrego.doc

Apr 5-7
Cooper River Bridge Red Dress Run
Hosted by the Happy Heretics H3 in Charleston, SC, USA.
https://www.facebook.com/happyheretics

Apr 5-7
Quinceańera Anniversary
Hosted by the Cowtown H3 in Columbus, OH, USA.
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16837&cat=256&page=1

Apr 5 - Jun 30
80 Days of Hashing Around the World
Note, this is a commercial event, buyer beware.
http://www.hashtravel.com/index.php/trips/details/16-80-days-hashing-around-the-world

Apr 6-7
2000th Hash
Hosted by the Manila H3 in Puerto Galeria, Philippines.
http://gotothehash.net/rego/mh3-2000.pdf
https://sites.google.com/site/manilah3/

Apr 6-7
1666th Celebration Run
Hosted by the Gympie H3 in Gympie, QLD, Australia.
http://www.hhh.asn.au/eventspdf/20130406gh3.pdf

Apr 6-19
European Hash Bus Tour
Note, this is a commercial event, buyer beware.
http://hashtravel.com/index.php/trips/details/19-european-hash-bus-tour

Apr 7-15
Boston Marathon Hash Week
Several events hosted throughout the week by the Boston H3, in Boston, MA, USA.
http://bostonhash.com

Apr 12-14
Gispert Gallop & 1500th Run
Hosted by the Teign Valley H3 in Devon, UK.
http://www.hhh.org.uk/docs/tvh3_Rego_form_Gispert.pdf

Apr 12-14
1300th Run Weekend
Hosted by the Mijas H3 in Fuengirola, Spain.
http://mijash3.com

Apr 12-14
Once Upon A Hash
Hosted by the Tallahassee & Area H3 in Greenboro, FL, USA.
http://www.tandah3.com/

Apr 12-14
Philippine Nash Hash
Hosted by the Subic Bay H3 in the hills of Olongapo and Subic Bay, Philippines.
http://subicbaynashhash2013.com/

Apr 12-14
Alabama Interhash
Hosted in Cleveland, AL, USA.
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16836&cat=256

Apr 19-21
Belgian Nash Hash
Hosted by the Brussels Manneke Piss H3 in Bokrijk, Belgium.
http://www.bmph3.com/BNH/2013/index.html

Apr 19-21
Red Dress Run
Hosted by the Phoenix H3 in Phoenix, AZ, USA.
http://phoenixhhh.org/?p=6408

Apr 19-21
20th Burpday
Hosted by the Buenos Aires H3 in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
http://buenosaireshashhouseharriers.blogspot.com/p/20th-birthday-bash-april-2021-2013.html

Apr 19-21
Philippines Hash Bash 2013
Hosted by Wild Wolf in La Union, Philippines.
http://www.pihashbash.com/

Apr 19-21
Flash Mob 4.20
Hosted by the Boarder Jumper H3 in El Paso, TX, USA.
http://www.bjhash.com/

Apr 19-21
Red Dress Run
Hosted by the Phoenix H3 in Phoenix, AZ, USA.
http://phoenixhhh.org/?p=6408

Apr 25-28
Pasikuda Hash Weekend
Hosted by the Colombo H3 in Pasikuda, Sri Lanka.
http://www.colombohash.com/harriettes/content/sally-swallows-farewell-run-%EF%BF%BC%EF%BF%BCaint-ze-bushs-1000th-home-run

Apr 26-28
SMUTTy Crab Spring Fling
Hosted by the SMUTTy Crab H3 in La Plata, MD, USA.
http://www.hashspace.com/events/smutty-crab-spring-fling

Apr 26-28
500th Hash and Spring Fest
Hosted by the Stuttgart H3 in Stuttgart, Germany.
http://stuttgarthash.de/fest2013.html

Apr 26-28
Rocky Point Bordering Insanity
Hosted by the Phoenix H3 in Puerto Penasco, Mexico.
http://www.hashspace.com/events/rocky-point-bordering-insanity-2013

Apr 26 - May 1
Hashing "Off the Rails"
Hosted by the Tracks H3 from Cairns to Brisbane, Australia.
http://www.hhh.asn.au/eventspdf/hashingofftherails.pdf

Apr 26 - May 7
Aussie Nash Hash Pre & Post Lubes
Hosted by the hash clubs all over Australia.
http://www.hhh.asn.au/ozevents.html

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Here is the small print . . . No stand up comedians became unemployed due to my bad humor in the production of this rag.

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Hashing is fun! See you on trail some day . . . :O)

On-On,
Hazukashii
http://GoToTheHash.net