Grhastha Asrama

[Emigdio Binet]

GṛhasthaSanskrit: गृहस्थ) literally means "being in and occupied with home, family" or "householder".[1] It refers to the second phase of an individual's life in a four age-based stages of the Hindu asrama system.[2] It follows celibacy (bachelor student) life stage, and embodies a married life, with the duties of maintaining a home, raising a family, educating one's children, and leading a family-centred and a dharmic social life.[3][4][5]

This stage of Asrama is conceptually followed by Vānaprastha (forest dweller, retired[6]) and Sannyasa (renunciation).[3] Combined with other three life stages, Hindu philosophy considers these stages as a facet of Dharma concept, something essential to completing the full development of a human being and fulfilling all the needs of the individual and society.[3][7]

Ancient and medieval era texts of Hinduism consider Gṛhastha stage as the most important of all stages in sociological context, as human beings in this stage not only pursue a virtuous life, they produce food and wealth that sustains people in other stages of life, as well as the offspring that continues mankind.[3][8] The householder stage is also considered in Indian philosophy as one where the most intense physical, procreational, emotional, occupational, social and material attachments exist in a human being's life.[9]

In Indian traditions, Gṛhastha stage of life is a recommendation, but not a requirement. Any Brahmachari may, if they want, skip householder and retirement stage, go straight to Sannyasa stage of life, thereby renouncing worldly and materialistic pursuits and dedicating their lives to spiritual pursuits.[7]

Gṛhastha is part of the ancient Hindu concept called Chaturashrama, which identified four stages of a human life, with distinct differences based on natural human needs and drives, as well as how these stages integrated with fulfilling, joyful four goals of life called Purushartha - Dharma (piety, morality, duties), Artha (wealth, health, means of life), Kama (love, relationships, emotions) and Moksha (liberation, freedom, self-realization).[7] Gṛhastha is considered to be the most intense of all four stages, where a man or woman pursues all four goals of life, with greater emphasis on first three - Dharma, Artha and Kama.[4][5][12] In contrast, Sannyasa is the stage where the individual renounces Artha and Kama, and pursues Moksha with a single minded pursuit.[4][7]

The stage "Gṛhastha" is preceded by Brahmacharya (student) stage of life, and followed by Vanaprastha (retirement, forest dweller, still an advisor to the next generation) stage. In ancient texts, Gṛhastha stage of life is said to extend from the age of about 25 to about 50.[7]

A man or woman entered the Gṛhastha stage after a Hindu wedding [sacred ceremony]. They would build a home, raise a family, earn wealth, enjoy worldly life and give donations to needy people, poor families, orphans, etc... They also have to follow the 5 great rituals ( Pancha Maha Yajnas) as follow:

The Chandogya Upanishad and Vedānta Sūtras discuss all four stages of life - student, householder, retired/hermit and ascetic. However they hold Gṛhastha āśrama as the highest because, explains verse III.4.48, not only does the householder performs the duties recommended for all four asramas, they have to produce food and goods on which people in other ashramas survive. The shared duties of four ashramas are - tenderness for all living creatures (ahimsa), self-restraints, and others.[14]

Grihastha ashrama, declares Gautama Dharmasutra in verses 3.2 and 3.3, is the foundation of all the ashramas, and essential to the existence and continuation of society because the other three ashramas do not produce offspring.[3][17]

In Sections IV.1 through IV.6, Manusmriti states a Brahmana, after being twice-born and completing his studies with his teacher, should marry and live in his house.[20] He must seek a means of living that causes no injury or least possible injury to all living beings, except in times of distress. For this householder stage, the text declares that the Brahmana (graduate from Brahmacharya) should accumulate property by ethically pursuing his varna's (class) occupation.[20] Manusmriti lists[20] five appropriate sources of income or means for survival for the educated Brahmana - Ṛta (ऋत, lawful gleaning and gathering, proper natural work[21]), Amrta (अमृत, accepting gifts and charity), Mrta (मृत, begging), Pramrta (प्रमृत,[22] agriculture, tillage) and Satyanrta (सत्यनृत,[23] trade, commerce, money lending). The text disapproves of one means of survival for the householder - Shvavritti (श्ववृत्त,[24] dog-like subsistence, servitude, slavery[25]).

When the scriptural studies appropriate to the student have been completed, and he has received blessings of his Guru, let him enter into the order of the Gṛhastha (householder). Let him pursue and obtain, by ethical ways, home, wife, and wealth, discharge to the best of his ability the duties of his life's stage. He should satisfy the soul of his ancestors with funeral cakes; the gods with oblations; guests with hospitality; the sages with holy study; the progenitors of mankind with progeny; the spirits with reverence; and all the world with words of truth.

The Indian Epics have extensive debates on Gṛhastha stage of life, offering a contrasting spectrum of views on its merits and nature.[27] An illustrative recommended guidelines for conduct in householder stage of life is stated in Book 1, the Adi Parva of the Mahabharata, as follows,[28][29]

It hath been said in the oldest Upanishad that a Grihastha (householder), acquiring wealth by honest means, should perform sacrifices; he should always give something in charity, should perform the rites of hospitality unto all arriving at his abode, and should never use anything without giving a portion thereof to others. He should abstain from all vicious acts, should never inflict pain on any creature. It is then only that he can achieve success.

We had to change our consciousness, Prabhupada told us, and put Krsna at the center. That, he said, would make all the difference. When our false ego is at the center, we have so many problems, but when Krsna is at the center, our relationships become harmonious.

These material bodies are just dresses for the soul. Our identities based on the body and mind are temporary and illusory. Our real identities are as loving servants of Krsna and His devotees, and whatever we are doing here in the material world is practice for our eternal life in the spiritual world, where we will serve Krsna and His devotees in ecstatic love. As Srila Prabhupada said, if a high school student is doing college-level work, he can be promoted to college. So if we are in the material world but are engaged in the activities of the spiritual world, we can be promoted to the spiritual world. The basic activity of the spiritual world, which includes chanting the holy names and glories of Sri Krsna, is to render loving service to Krsna and the other servants of Krsna. And the grhastha asrama is a suitable situation for practicing loving service, which can qualify us for eternal loving service in the spiritual world.

A Grhastha lives a God centered life. He knows the ultimate goal of life but is not able to be completely renounced. A Grhastha is aware that the sense gratification permitted to him will eventually lead to misery and therefore he sincerely endeavors to overcome his tendency for sense gratification by practicing Krishna Consciousness.

If a husband and wife combine together in Krishna consciousness and live together peacefully, help each other and serve each other that is very nice. However, if one is attracted to the opposite sex simply for sex enjoyment, then it becomes an impediment to spiritual progress and the implications of materialistic life will again resume.

The Supreme Lord Krishna compassionately describes how a householder should act until his natural propensity for sense gratification, for enjoying sense objects is overcome and he fully attains the characteristics of a pure devotee.

Srila Prabhupada has said that it does not matter whether one is a brahmacari, a Grhastha or a sannyasi. He must try to be a confidential servant of Lord Krishna. The institution of marriage in the Vedic perspective is not to be condemned. Lord Brahma, Lord Shiva and Yamaraja, who are described as mahajanas are Grhasthas.

Lord Gauranga was an ideal Grhastha and later an ideal sannyasi. Many of the associates of Lord Gauranga also had a married life. Arjuna was a Grhastha, a king and a politician. The Supreme Lord Krishna selected Arjuna for imparting the highest

It is described that service in the Grhastha asrama is like crossing over a hill because there are so many obstacles. The duties and responsibilities can be painful at times. However, the service should be rendered in a spirit of detachment, sense of duty with proper understanding for a harmonious living in Krishna Consciousness.

Vedic culture is a culture of sharing and giving with the consciousness that everything in the universe is controlled and owned by the Lord and that one should accept only those things that necessary for himself, which are set aside as his quota.

Aindra Prabhus apperanceday 2023

dear devotees

Please accept my humble obaisences

All glories to my beloved Gurudeva Srila Narayana Maharaja

All glories to Srila Prahbupada

All glories to Nitai Gaura, Radha Shyama Jaya Krsna Balarama

2 days ago was Aindra Prahbus appearance day .I knew Aindra Prabhu since Mayapure festival in 1986 ,I met him in the room he stayed in in Mayapure.He told me he was going to Vrindavana to start 24 hours Kirtana ,this was the 500 years celebration of Lord Caitanyas appearance so I he said this is the perfect time to start 24 hours Kirtana there as Srila Prahbupadas also wished for it .I said I will see you in Vrindavaan because I am going to serve another 6 month in Vrindavana as long my Visa allows me too .That year I stayed 9 month in India and is the longest I ever stayed in India in one row.In Vrindavana we met in the Gurukula I also stayed there and was given a room , I served in book distribution department later I was asked to serve in the Deity department and worship Govardhana and Salagrama Silas daily , I also myself started worship of Salagrama and Govardhana sila..so I obtained Salagrama and Govardhana Silas before Aindra Prabhu ,,so he was very eager to learn also ..I told him that my godbrother Kaliya Krsna Prabhu that used to be a head pujari in ISKCON Swizerland .Zurich was the best person to learn from ...I would wake up every morning at 1.30 am and at 2 am after shower etc I would worship Salagrama and Govardhana sila for and hours and half with Kaliya Krsna Prabhu ,,and thus I worshipped my own Silas ..then after mangal artik I would go on the alter in Krsna Balarama mandir and worship Salagrama Sila there, Lord Narasimha deity and Govarshana Silas..that was my service for almost 6 month, at the end I got Jaundice so I could no longer do this service.The well water at Srila Prabhupadas Samadhi was contaminated so many of us devotees got Jaundice .So Aindra Prabhu also started to worship Govardhana and Salagrama Silas and he collected more and more gradually ..his original worship was his small Gaura Nitai deities he had in ISKCON New York also where he would travel all over the city and do Harinama from the truck he had some flat bed truck .When I later first came to New York in 1989 summer I went with some devotees all over New York and did Harinama in the same truck I am not sure what happened to it after that .I recall also I learned many things about Deity worship from Visvambhara Goswami from Radha Ramana temple about especially Govardhana and Salagrama worship...so I told Aindra Prabhu and he also became very close to Visvambhara Goswami and took him as a Siksa Guru to learn Deity worship from him.Srila Prabhupada actually in a letter had written that anyone who wants to learn details about Deity worship can consult with Visvambhara Goswami from Radha Ramanana, so Aindra Prabhu and myself did so .Following Srila Prabhupada instruction .The letter was there one day in Srila Prabhupadas room in Vrindavana and I had Aindra Prabhu read it too.I would often read with Aindra Prabhupada every thing from Srila Prabhupadas small books to Krsna book especailly ,he had huge taste to read and hear Krsna book , most devotees I ever knew in ISKCON never had as much taste as him to simply hear Krsna book so I would often read Krsna book when he did his puja ..I went back to Denmark after Janmastami in 1986 ,my Visa was expiring and my health too I was serious weak after getting Jaundice in Vrindavana .I came back around a year later in 1987 and stayed in Vrindavana for 6 months this time,it meant more reading with Aindra Prabhu every day and I would chant 24 hours Kirtana with him , also he stated to do his recordings and I was there when he made some of his first recordings and he asked me to chant and participate in all recordings he did .It was a great honor and I loved his Kirtana..in 1987 when I went back to Denmark he ordered me you should start chanting ever day in the streets in your Capital Copenhagen because it sounds like this is a good place to do Kirtana as there are hundreds of thousands of people walking there daily as you have described to me ..so I followed Aindra Prabhus order to me and started a Kirtana program in Copenhagen and daily we would chant 8 hours on the Pedestrian walking street in Copenhagen ...mostly from 10am to 18 pm was our schedule ..so we did this program for almost 2 years I was heading it up and 10 devotees or so would chant we would go out 6 days a week ,normally Sunday was our day of .We distribute lots of prasadam and books also daily .In 1988 I went back to Vrindavana for couple month for Kartika and spend time with Aindra Prabhu again ,and then in 1989 Lokanath Swami had invited me to lead all the Kirtanas at the Padayatra in California for the big Robin George case he really pleaded with me ,I had been on Padayatra in South India in 1985 for 6 month and lead lots of Kirtanas daily for up to 8 hours daily .So I said Ok I had also been invited to come to USA and distribute Srila Prabhupadas books at Radha Govinda temple in New York ..I was a bit unhappy with some of the management in ISKCON Denmark , one TP never attended mangal Artik and was always sleeping during the morning program and some other issues .So i went to USA, and the program in Copenhagen gradually fell apart because no one was determined to go out 8 hours daily ,I had been the main force behind that program .Aindra Prabhu thought it was great I was going to USA and do Harinama and distribute Srila Prabhupadas books so I had all his blessings.We had both started to see Srila Narayana Maharaja since 1986 and Srila Narayana Maharaja always encouraged Aindra Prabhu and myself to chant 64 rounds daily ,,he started doing it and I would as much I could .In Vrindavana I mostly always chanted 64 rounds daily but in the West sometimes I was so busy preaching I had hard time to complete all 64 rounds ..but it was part of my life ...the Gopi bhava club happened in ISKCON Vrindavana ,Aindra Prabhu and I where not impressed, all these Jewish Swamis playing pure devotees and Gopis they were also not chanting 64 rounds daily as instructed by Srila Narayana Maharaja so Aindra Prabhu and myself though this is much artificial .During this time from 1990 to around 1993 I would also study Krsna Bhavanamrta, and Govinda Lilamrta with Aindra Prabhu in his room , other books also like the Sandarbhas that I had from Kusakratha Prabhu sometimes i read from Gopal Campu to him or Garga samhita he was all eager for all these things .Over the years I spend much time with Aindra Prabhu , in 1998 I got married ,Aindra Prabhu did not like it ,actually from 1998 to 2002 , I was not in Vrindavana I was busy distributing Srila Prabhupadas books in USA now a grhastha but I was among the first 5 bookdistributors in USA,,sometimes number 1.Aindra Prabhu said when he saw me in 2002 shame on you Payonidhi Prabhu for entering Grhashta asrama you should never have done so...in 2001 in Vriginia Srila Narayana Maharaja had told me the same ,leave this grhastha asrama and take sannyasa I will give you ,My son was only around 3 at the time.SO I could not .I said Aindra I am no longer Payonidhi I am Paramananda das and initiated by Srila Narayana Maharaja ..he congratulated me for taking reinitiation from Srila Narayana Maharaja that he highly respected ...I told Aindra Prabhu why I married and that I am continuing my book distribution and preaching as an independent grhastha outside of ISKCON temples.Later on in around 2008 or so he wanted I leave the West behind and come an do 24 hours with him in Vrindavana, I told him that will not happen I am chanting 64 rounds daily and distributing Srila Prabhupadas books in the West this in my service.He was showing me a lot of false ego attitude that I was not used too. I never knew his eccentric nature like that before, and it distant myself from him.in 2010 I met him again he said I chant 120 rounds daily , I was not sure if that was true, because I always saw that he seemed to sleep all morning long from 5 am to 2 pm .I was no longer inspired to hang around Aindra Prabhu ,I felt he had a weird following with Govinda das and Bhagavata Purana das , Bhagavata Purana das disciple of Satsvarupa was harrasing me, selling Prabhupadas books is like selling Bibles, I was so angry with him and decided that is to much offenses to Srila Prabhupada ,if that what these idiots learn from Aindra then I am done with him .I told Aindra Prabhu Srila Prabhupada said all devotees should be in the West distributing his books ,BUT IF YOUR ARE TO USELESS FOR that YOU CAN GO TO VRINDAVANA AND EAT AND SLEEP AND CHANT HARE KRSNA .Stop BOTHERING me you are not a bookdistributor and I have no interest in you any longer and your anti book distribution rants.When Aindra Prabhu died in the gas explosion in July of 2010 I was in tears for many days I have never had deeper discussions about KC with anyone but my Gurudeva Srila Narayana Maharaja and Aindra Prabhu ..I knew all his deepest spiritual desires to serve under Srila Rupa Manjari as a manjari.One time I had a dream of Radha Shyamasundara in Vrindavana Their Lordships told me WE HAVE SEND AINDRA to be trained by Narada Muni..I woke up ,that is a real far out dream .The sight of Sri Sri Radha Shyamasundara and Their words did seem very real .Aindra Prabhu was frustrated with me why do you not let me in your life and write me here in Vrindavana , you should at least send me letters often so we can communicate ,do we not have a deep bond of affection? I was to heart hearted and never found the right words to write Aindra Prabhu ,If he had given me an email it would be easier, but who writes letters in this computer age? Aindra Prabhu was not much on computers at all I love and miss him, he is one of the person in my life that I love the most despite our sometimes differences of opinion.We walked once to Maan Sarovara and chanted 120 rounds both of us that day , one the way back we got blessed by that famous Devaraha Baba that may you always chant Hare Krsna by the Yamuna as we where going back to Krsna Balarama temple Aindra Prabhu ki Jaya Inline image

Aindra is one of the few devotees and especially Prabhupada disciples that understood the importance of chanting 64 rounds and he did so for years, if he actually did chant 120 rounds daily ,he was right , because the last thing Aindra Prabhu told me was it is great you chant 64 rounds daily now come up to my standard and do 120 rounds daily

your servant

Paramananda das

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