The best way to discipline a child is to SLAP him
Ratnesh Mathur
You can view this article on web here
The best way to discipline a child is to slap him/her. | Upcoming Events |
Obviously a slap is a great way to control, to get the behaviour we desire, to establish our authority and our knowledge of right and wrong. However if you are wanting the child to be self disciplined, to lead self, to discern what is right /wrong from own experience and thinking - thats another story. But lets talk more about the “S” words today - slapping, scolding, and sermonising. We love doing all these three. There must be something good about them. No wonder they come so naturally to us - so much so we think they must be part of the job called parenting. Thats another thing that we usually feel miserable after doing any of the above three. Thats another thing that children usually feel miserable after we have done these to them. Anyway whats feelings got to do with all this - we gotta raise the kids the right way. And if they feel miserable they deserve it - did they not misbehave. Thats another thing that these feelings take the focus away from the what was done (the behaviour) and become the highlight themselves. Child clouded by these feelings rarely thinks about the deed, rather thinks either about how to get away from the feeling or starts further de-meaning self. Thats another thing that clouded by the feelings we also start blaming the child more than the act. We put some lousy labels (You’re so irresponsible) or we make the behaviour permanent (You always do like this) or some of us start even berating ourselves (What have I done to deserve this).
Thats another thing that our forceful act builds the fear factor: fear of authority, fear of force, fear of mistakes. Lies, hiding to escape, etc is what ensues. But thats not important - what is important is that we done our job of “S”-ing the child, of correcting the child. Thats another thing that the behaviour mostly does not get corrected. You see nobody is focusing on the behaviour. We are focusing on the child. And child is focusing on the feelings or us or self. And even if the child does change the behaviour - its mostly to avoid the slap and not for the real reason. Phew. Now for some good news: That inspite of all this - most of our children will grow up as fine individuals (didn’t we?). Some with little dented self concept, some with little submissive fear tucked away in dark alleys inside, some with little more aggression as part of people skills, some with little surety on how to handle these emotions. Thats another thing most of our children will have to go through a childhood of slaps, scolding and sermonising. You see in the hurry to raise a perfect adult, we forget that we can gift the child a more joyous childhood. And parenting need not be a why-did-i-deserve-this - when it could be turned into i-am-loving-it. Lets think what do we want - for ourselves and for our children. Inviting you to an Online workshop on ‘Behaving so Children Behave’ this saturday 13 Dec 2014 - 2:30 to 4:30 (Click here to register) Aditi & Ratnesh | Sat, 13 Dec 2014 Online workshop - Behaving so Children Behave Sun, 14 Dec 2014 Sunday Sadhana on Learning via reflection Mon, 22-26 Dec 2014 Winter Camp @ O Campus for children Mon, 22-26 Dec 2014 Jagriti Retreat @ O Campus for parents or teachers Thus, 8 Jan 2015 Train the Trainer online evening batch - for parents and people who want to work with children Blogs with children at Aarohi |
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To explore this way consider the online workshop on 13th Dec (see events column).
