Is there any cultural/social difference between Chinese Indonesians and Chinese in China (or maybe general Chinese all over the world)?
Sunny ambon
I am half Chinese Indonesian and half Chinese Chinese. My mother is a fifth generation Chinese Indonesian born and raised in Bangka, while my father was born in rural Guangdong and emigrated to Hong Kong in the 70s when the Touch Base policy was still in force. I grew up between Indonesia and Hong Kong and for this reason am perhaps more in touch with cultural and social differences from both parts than perhaps a good deal of my compatriots.
Culturally-speaking, my mum and dad are on two opposite sides of the spectrum. My mum does not speak any Chinese dialects (she knows Bangka though which perhaps counts for something), while my dad is fluent in Mandarin, Cantonese, Teochew and Hokkien. My mum's family are Catholics, my dad's family Buddhists. My dad's family pray to their ancestors and my mum's family don't. Chinese New Year for my family in Indonesia is basically a nice dinner and a quick exchange of red packets - in Hong Kong my family fight over red packets, have celebrations and reunions every night, light incense for ancestor worship and get drunk. My Indonesian family celebrate Mother's Day when my HK family celebrate Winter Solstice with tang yuan. My father's family are devout followers of feng shui whereas my mother's family are only dimly aware of what the basic elements are. My maternal family are also more affectionate, using words like "sayang" and "kangen" quite often while hugging you; God forbid if my paternal family members so much as graze you on the shoulder, and there is a much higher chance of aliens invading Earth than hearing them say "我爱你”.
In terms of familial relations, in my Indonesian family seniority is the most important whereas in my HK family seniority AND gender are of utmost importance. In my Indonesian family, my grandmother commands the most respect, followed by my parents, and then the kids. In my HK family the order goes a bit like this - grandfather, father and uncles, my brother and male cousins, grandmother, my mother and aunts, my female cousins and me. My Indonesian family are pretty much okay with me marrying whoever I want or having kids of whatever gender I please - my HK family pretty much want me to only marry a rich Chinese man (from PRC or HK) and bear sons.
My families differ down to the slightest detail. When taking care of babies, my mother continues to clash with my paternal family over the most basic things. My mum likes using bedak wangi (fragrant powders?) on babies and believes that rubbing minyak telon for a nice smelling baby is extremely important. My HK family don't believe in that stuff, and sometimes only wash their toddlers several times a week (my mother gets freaked out by this, because she is used to Indonesia's super tropical climate and frequent showers help to cool toddlers down). When my HK infant cousin ate solid pork and rice before even growing proper teeth I remember my mother being very horrified. She then turned to me in utter defeat and said "De, adat mereka beda banget ya ama adat kita. Orang Indonesia mana bisa kayak gini kalo ngurus anak." [Their way of life is so different to ours. Indonesians would never take care of their kids this way.]
In terms of food, both my families eat different things. A typical dinner with my Indonesian family consists of things like rice (sometimes fried rice, brown rice or yellow rice or maybe bakmi), oyong or kangkung belacan, opor or soto, ayam goreng kuning, rendang and bakso. We might also have things like steamed fish, bird's nest soups or normal stir fried meats. Oh, and my maternal grandma makes some incredible kue lapis, pempek and bacang. During dinner with my HK family we have mainly home-cooked Teochew food, so lots of yam, unsalted steamed fish, stir-fried pork and steamed chicken, stir-fried vegetables (usually broccoli) and sometimes something special like pork jelly or shark fin soup or abalone. Once I made my mother make bakso in my grandparent's house - my grandparents kept staring at the dish without knowing how to eat it.
So yes, there you have it - two Chinese families, two different cultures. In short, I think Chinese Indonesians are very different mentally and culturally to their Mainland counterparts, and it does feel that way when I observe different family gatherings.
DISCLAIMER: Different families are of course different. My Indonesian family in Jakarta speak to one another in Indonesian and are perhaps more acclimatised to the local culture than, say, a family from Medan or Pontianak. My HK family are definitely not typical HKers - their mentality is, to a rather extreme degree, firmly set in 19th-20th century Mainland traditions.