I've been working on this a little while. Thanks to everyone who helped. Any remaining screwups are mine.
TLP
It should be so familiar that it worries you... Extra points if you can tell me why. :-) And don't take it too seriously. Seriously.
I pushed it in, having a little difficulty with both its width and the lack of lubrication, and then, with it snugly in place, I let go of it, and slowly lifted my knees, feeling the solid pressure of the wooden shaft as I got my feet up on the counter, and spread my knees again.
You can find this just where you might think.
ASSTR now, and
SOL as soon as the queue catches up.
Well, any ideas? :-)
Cheers
Gentle.