Your Gay Presidential Write-In
ezek...@my-deja.com
Hello, I am a gay activist and homeless advocate first, and an advocate
for liberation of all oppressed people overall. The choices for the
upcoming Y2K presidential elections are abominable, especially for gays.
The *only way to win gay equality in Amerika, is to have a bona fide
*gay president...not a "gay friendly" one, like Clinton, who (don't
forget), passed DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) and DADT (Don't Ask Don't
Tell). These are two Federal legislations most hurtful to the Gay Cause,
by providing powerful leverage to our homophobic enemies. And forget
Ralph: he may have a great record for consumer advocacy, but *zilch when
it comes to gay rights and other civil issues.
So write me in for President:
Ezekiel J. Krahlin
ezek...@my-deja.com
At least, you'll be making a clear statement against the intractable
(and intrinsically homophobic) status quo. My personal website at
will give you a good indication of where I stand on most issues; that
you may make an informed decision.
If you like my idea, feel free to disseminate this message wherever and
whenever. Word of mouth is still a powerful agent for truth, justice and
the Gay Cause.
---end of announcement
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
ezek...@my-deja.com
Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and
credit to the original author.
Ezekiel J. Krahlin
ezek...@my-deja.com http://surf.to/gaybible
--------------------------------------------------------------
MY PLATFORM FOR PRESIDENT
(c) 2000 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)
September 10, 2000
A couple days ago I proposed running for world's first Gay President (as
a lark), and posted it to various gay, activist, and political
newsgroups. To refresh your memory, here it is again:
Ezekiel J. Krahlin
ezek...@my-deja.com
---end of announcement
Since then, some have asked me to further describe my platform: what I
stand for on various issues, both gay and non-gay. So, for the sake of
creative exercise and fun dialogue, I will do just that. Read on:
GAY ISSUES
State of Emergency:
Immediately on my first day in office, I will declare a State of
Emergency across the entire nation for all our gay citizens. I will
establish Northern California as a safe haven for gay refugees *from our
own country, as well as install military outposts in every city, town
and village, dedicated to the protection and liberation of gay men and
women everywhere. Let this special branch of the Armed Forces be named
"The Blue Rose Militia". It is a terrible thing to live in abject terror
of harm to one's life, limb and liberty in the very nation in which you
were born and raised. Yet that remains the case for the majority of our
gay populace who dwell not in the coziness of a major city--all of which
have become too *expensive to move to, including "gay mecca"--but across
our land in small-town and rural Amerika. While most heteros happily
live and breathe democracy, we gays continue to
accommodate, chameleon-like, a de facto terrorist regime. They are *our
Silent Majority, for whom I struggle to give voice.
All churches and other public institutions that continue to profess
homosexuals as sinful (or evil in any other way) will be regarded as
dangerous cults, and be shut down. We would *not allow such slander
against any *other minority, yet shamefully we still excuse this hate
speech when it comes to gay people. Our rights to free speech and
assembly were *never created to protect slanderous agendas. I will allow
Northern California to become its own quasi-independent nation, as an
honorable 100-year experiment to create the world 's first gay nation.
Let this nation be named "Athenia", to symbolize wisdom, and to
commemorate women's suffrage and lesbian dignity.
Pro-Gay Philosophy:
It is my belief that no other minority can further its rights without
finally incorporating their own gay constituents with respect, and in
solidarity. This includes African Americans, whose majority of churches
continue to preach homophobia of a most virulent sort. (I suggest black
gays and lesbians attend such churches, and whenever a preacher begins
to denounce homosexuality, to shout her down as an act of political
dissent.) When we confront homophobia, we are confronting, mainly, an
aspect of machismo: violence against the meek, and those perceived to be
meek. As long as homophobia is permitted in a society, its dark streak
of hatred runs through *every group of people, and thus obstructs the
furtherance of the rights of all minorites, and of women. *Essentially,
it is a karmic duty at this point in Amerika, for all activists to drop
any non-gay issues and focus only on winning the
rights for same-sex love. And it is also the duty of all gay
activists/volunteer workers, to cease supporting the cause of any group
that perpetrates gay hatred. For example: if you are gay and Caucasian,
and work for the rights of African Amerikans, you should drop out now,
with a letter of explanation addressed to them, that you can no longer
in good faith support their efforts when they maintain intrinsically
homophobic attitudes. (If you still want to help black folk, then focus
on specifically *gay black groups.)
The ascendance of Gay Equality will erase what remains of male
chauvanism and machismo, in a very natural, psychological and
evolutionary way. Then, and only then, will we witness the unfolding of
*true brotherly (and sisterly) love. For in fact, homosexuality is far
more than a matter of sex...it is rather the issue of affection or
"agape", which is far more evident among women friends, than among
males. Once the Beast of Homophobia has been conquered, the expressions
of compassion, and good works for all other oppressed people, will move
at a rapid pace. In a nutshell: liberation of homosexuality is key to
unlocking the doors of equality for *everyone. And that is my philosophy
on which I build my platform, and on which I will act as President.
NON-GAY ISSUES
FYI
I *have discussed non-gay issues on Usenet. Feel free to search for
them, to learn more about my attitudes. I'm afraid, however, that
Deja.com has temporarily wiped out all articles previous to 1999...but
they promise to put them back, whenever. But there may be *other
services out there that provide a complete Usenet history; I just
haven't looked into this. I have changed my e-mail addresses numerous
times, so you should search for each of these addresses, to get a
complete picture:
ezek...@my-deja.com
ezekiel...@my-deja.com
ezek...@juno.com
ezek...@2xtreme.com
ezek...@wco.com
zkra...@fog.net
Of course, my last name, "Krahlin" is uncommon enough to effectively
track me down on any search engine. You can also see that I support more
than the gay issue, by visiting my newest site:
Zeke's Audio Interviews
http://surf.to/zekesaudio
Politicians Suck:
The last thing this country needs for a President is another freakin'
politician. I believe we should follow the example of the Czech
Republic's "Velvet Revolution", whose people elected a writer, an
artist, for their leader: Vaclav Pavel. I offer my creative ingenuity,
fiery spirit, and intense devotion to my ideals...which in evey way are
strictly in line with those espoused by our Constitution and attending
Bill of Rights... and The Free Speech Movement (yes, I've inhaled many,
many times; and I still do, occassionaly). I will recruit the brilliant
resources of our gay community to handle the details of "forming a more
perfect union", by appointing them to the highest positions of office
across this nation. To put it bluntly: I believe that our gay citizens
can do a better job of making this a great nation, than heteros have
ever done. So step aside (you've had your turn), and give us
our Day In The Sun...we promise to not disappoint!
My philosophy of compassion is to reach out first, to our most neglected
citizens, then the next-most-neglected, and so on. The least fortunate,
at this time, are gay men and women...who know no sanctuary even in
their own minority-identified groups. For the most part, blacks hate
their own gays, Asians hate their own gays, Native Amerikans hate their
own gays, homeless people hate their own gays, poor people hate their
own gays, and on and on it goes. Of course, I will get rid of
unconstitutional anti-gay laws such as DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act),
DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell), and any remaining Federal, state or local
laws against sodomy, and any other forms of discrimination against gays,
regarding housing, employment, and the right to live without fear of
violence.
And *once we bring all gay folk up to an equal status with all other
minorities, we will expand to cover the following, non-gay issues:
-Apologize to all gay people, then Native Amerikans, then all other
minorities, as well as women.
-Return 25% of our land to Native Amerikans.
-True Separation of Church & State, including laws to protect the
non-religious from the religious.
-Expand the Peace Corp and reduce the military. Let the Peace Corp use
our armies for emergency crash reparation of African and Latin (and
other troubled) nations. Respect these cultures' differences; do not
impose Amerikan dogma on them. Remove all military/poltical/corporate
intervention from such nations, that thwarts their ability to
democratize.
-Guaranteed living wage for all, based on regional fluctuations of real
value. Any jobs that don't pay a living wage, will be supplemented by
gov't monies. Your living wage is guaranteed whether employed or not.
-Guaranteed housing for all. No slums; *quality housing. The formerly
homeless can get paid to help maintain decent housing.
-Quality universal health care (of course).
-Provide funds for all volunteer work, that they may afford a living
wage to those who gain fulfillment doing what they've been doing for
free. Instead of welfare/workfare, clients can come to any Social
Security center and select from a large list of volunteer work, and find
meaningful labor, either in one field, or in a variety of fields. No one
will be required to work more than 20 hours per week.
-Create a leisure society where more and more people can pursue their
own happiness: in the arts, sports, science, theater, counseling,
travel, etc. All menial and/or unpleasant labor will be dignified with a
superior salary and benefits, as long as humans need to perform such
chores.
-Close major loopholes of corporations, that they may pay their fair
share in taxes. Such tax monies will be used to support all my
proposals. Eventually, eliminate corporate entities altogether, putting
into the hands of all citizens, shared ownership of all businesses.
-Eliminate *any taxes for individuals earning less than $50,000 per
annum...and an equivalent arrangement for families (traditional and
non-traditional).
-Legalize *all drugs. Provide quality recovery treatment centers to
anyone in need.
-Racially/ethnically integrate all urban neighborhoods, so that
whites/non-whites, affluent/poor, gay/straight, etc., will not live so
separately.
-Bring back affirmative action to assure dignity for all minorities.
Expand it as needed, and improve upon the previous model.
-Provide quality schooling for all citizens, all the way through
college, regardless of income, economic status, or any other superficial
differences.
BETTING MY LIFE ON THIS
I believe so strongly in my destiny, that I'll even stake my life on
this, to any homophobe who seeks my destruction...by revealing my actual
address and phone number right here on the Internet, in this document,
in a plethora of newsgroups. Because I believe my destiny is so
inevitable, neither death nor injury will be part of this picture. Also,
by making myself so vulnerable, I open my heart to, and put my complete
trust in, our Gay Family. Therefore, those who *really care about my
well-being will offer protection, by migrating to S.F., befriending me,
and providing round-the-clock bodyguards and other forms of security
(perhaps even helping me go *underground, after this intensely *personal
revelation!). Here goes:
I currently reside at 2306 Market Street, Room 205. (That's right, you
heard me, I said "room", not "apartment". I live humbly.) My room's two
windows look over Market Street, right above the front gate. My home
phone is 415-863-3790. If you want to *mail me anything (letter of
support, bomb, cash, whatever), please use this address:
Zeke Krahlin
P.O. Box 14714
San Francisco, CA 94114
I also hang out a lot across the bay, in Berkeley; mostly in and around
People's Park, and sometimes downtown Shattuck Avenue. I frequently take
coffee at Cafe Mediterraneum (on Telegraph Avenue by People's Park), and
visit the guys at the "counterculture table" in front of Cody's Books
(across the street from "The Med" where, by the way, Alan Ginsburg once
hanged out while composing his infamous opus, "Howl").
In January, I started this geek/hacker group: BUUG (Berkeley Unix User
Group), which you may learn more about, at:
And I run a hacker-friendly board under pseudonym "Bernie Marrs", at:
FreeNetCubs BBS & Chat
http://www5.50megs.com/fnc
Also, as I practice a self-made form of urban shamanism, this baring of
my soul is part of the final process in completing a great aspiration:
freedom for all my gay sisters and brothers, not just here in the U.S.,
but in all other nations, too. So let me reveal more about myself:
Diagnosed years ago with borderline schizophrenia (duh, like you haven't
figured this out yet) and manic/depression, I have lived on a disability
stipend since 1974...though with a few brief hiatuses with "real jobs".
But I have found that the work scene is way too rigid and hyper for my
way of being, that it is dangerously unhealthy for me to participate.
Part of this is due to my firm belief that it is flatly *wrong to
contribute to a culture that aggressively abuses gay people, with their
own tax money from their own hard work! So I remain on disability, not
just out of need, but as a form of dissent. I keep busy by devoting most
of my time volunteering and befriending the homeless, and fighting for
gay rights via the Internet. And in so doing, I believe I've contributed
far more to society than most people ever do in a lifetime. Ironically,
I have been attacked by more conservative
queers than I care to remember, because I refuse to fit into their
narrow, conformist viewpoints...which are indistinguishable from
heterocentric dogma in every way, except in bed.
Born July 1, 1950, I am 50 years old, 5"7", a little overweight but
still in great shape, bald (I shave my head to get rid of the remaining
hair), Caucasian (half Italian, 1/4 Scot, 1/4 Alsace-Lorraine), hazel
eyes, old scars from severe acne that have since melded very well into
my face. A front tooth on my upper-right side is noticeably crooked. I
have a vertical appendectomy scar next to my navel (on the right side),
from an operation in 1966. I was born in Brooklyn, and my social
security number is 101-42-6806. My birth name is "Eugene Frank
Catalano", which I have legally changed in 1993 to "Ezekiel Joseph
Krahlin".
While I'm at it, I may as well request a search for some very dear
friends during my years in Columbia, Missouri, where I attended
University, as an anthropology and Spanish major, with a minor in
journalism and geology. (I still have an outstanding college loan to pay
off, so *please don't snitch on me!) Those were the years 1968-1972. I
have lost touch with them a long time ago, and wish to rekindle old
friendships with: Candy Rutledge, Susie Bryant, Terry (cute guy), Deanna
(handicapped with missing vertabrae), Lynne Sadler, John Cook, Henry
(optician's apprentice at the time)...and an old flame (my first true
love): Robert Matthew Childers. I don't remember some of their full
names...in fact, I know I've left a few more out because I don't
remember their names at all! They know me by my old name, of course:
Gene Catalano.
I also miss the man whom I believe to be my final true love and
soulmate: Randolph Louis Taylor. I last heard from him in 1991. He may
have died, but I believe he actually went underground...as my visions
tell me this. We met a few months after his famous 40-day fast in 1984,
on behalf of Vietnam Veterans. Rather than exhaust myself going into
further details about this wonderful man, I'll just direct you to a web
page that I dedicated to him:
The Somalian Affair
http://www.fortunecity.com/village/weaver/76/
At that site are news articles and pictures about Randolph.
So now you know a lot more about me...though still superficially. Of
course, I have detailed plans for all the suggestions I put forth.
Assuming I gain supporters, these can all be worked on and hammered out
during interviews and brainstorming. I do not want to exhaust myself (or
my readers) by working out every detail right here by my lonesome,
hacking away on the keyboard into the wee hours of the night. I trust
there will arise many talented gay men and women, gifted in the
necessary fields to fulfill these wonderful proposals: lawyers, doctors,
builders, researchers, musicians, writers, artists, and any others with
determination, inspiration, and devotion to a dream. (And hey, if you're
straight (or bi), and want to contribute to this Great Cause, I'm sure I
can fit you in.)
I also hold a special invite to any gay man or woman who has suffered
so-called "schizophrenia"...which I believe in many (perhaps most)
cases, is really a visionary gift, once you learn how to channel it. I
also advise our gay community to quit bashing our own kind who are
labelled as "mentally disabled" like myself. Indeed, I think we should
start *listening to them, for a change. I don't believe I am the only
one with these modern-day shamanistic gifts. I believe that we gays are
*all gifted in this way, that we are destined to be healers for this
troubled world. Or maybe not all, but just *some. Only time will tell.
Then again, maybe I'm totally out of control in this latest--and
apparantly most fantastic--manic high...spilling my guts across
cyberspace, like Milky Way stars. But jeez! Can you blame a girl for
wanting to kick up her heels now and then? It's been a long, rough haul
up till now.
=================================================
Addendum (some whimsical proposals, as if this entire document weren't
whimsical):
IF I BECOME PRESIDENT, I WANT TO:
-Make the Backstreet Boys the official White House Musicians, seeing as
I have developed a strong crush on that group. I am especially head over
heels for Kevin, so I hope he leaves his latest girlfriend real soon.
(Do ya hear me Kev: ditch the bitch!)
-Replace the Gideon Bible in every motel and hotel bedstand, with my own
"Faggot Bible". (Said bible will contain all my writing and
illustrations now present on my home page at
-Declare an annual "Hetero Shame Week", for as long as homophobia exists
anywhere on this planet.
HETERO SHAME WEEK: whereby all public display of hetero affection be
outlawed for that week. Anyone breaking that law would go to jail for 10
days, and be fined $500 (which shall be donated to one or another
les/gay rights organizations). Any hetero who can't afford the steep
fine, or time away from work...ought to heed well the advice to keep his
or her public affections under strict control, for the duration. See how
YOU (heteros) like it!
-Marry Randolph Louis Taylor, step down from my high throne, and offer
him the whole world.
-Offer the position of President to a lesbian, as in:
http://netjunk.com/users/gaybible/icons/dykeprez.htm
-Make it very clear that Jesus is *not bisexual, even though this site
claims he is:
The Bastard Son of the Lord Home Page
http://www.bsotl.org/
I can assure you: Jesus and his daddy are thoroughbreds: 100%, true-blue
gay. In fact, God had his son the same way gay couples do: artificial
insemination. Like every good gay, the idea of sex with someone of the
opposite gender is repulsive. So he had Gabriel do the "dirty work", by
handing him a vial of his most sacred sperm, and instructing him on how
to insert it into poor Mary...and to spare him the details when he
returns.
-Help everyone else's good dreams come true, as mine are.
---finis