Love Me Or Leave Me Live

[Judd Eisenhauer]

Iwas raised to think I was a filthy person and God would only love me if I behaved. I mostly behaved. Then I met a man who told me God would love me anyway. I converted to fundamental Christianity and married the man. I was eighteen. That was seven years ago.

I chose to publish your letters together because placed alongside each other I think they tell a story complete enough that they answer themselves. Reading them, it occurred to me that allowing you to read what others in a similar situation are struggling with would be a sort of cure for what ails you, though of course I have something to say about them, too. As Trying noted in her letter, I struggled with these very questions mightily in my own life, when I was married to a good man whom I both loved and ached to leave. Your letters brought me back there, to the most painful era of my life.

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Shakespeare, and the generations of humanity that preceded us, considered recognition of our own mortality as the beginning of wisdom. Sonnet 73 captures in a profound way the relentless effects time has on the physical body and how the recognition of our inevitable death serves to strengthen our love for those we love most in the world.

The sonnet also highlights the paradox of our physical existence. The very wood that fuels a fire become the ashes that choke it off. Just so in illness and aging, we are done in by the very things that once nourished us. The hips and knees that helped us run become our daily aches. The heart that kept us living for so long, becomes a source of worry as it weakens.

I witnessed the slow decline and early death of my wife to illness over a three year period and I can honestly say that during that difficult time together our love for each other did grow more strong and each good day toward the end felt like a precious gift.

We ought to treat each meaningful parting in our life as a kind of prayer. Especially if it is a leave-taking accompanied by illness and evident aging. No one knows when we will see the ones we love again.

The great Master-gardener, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, in a wonderful providence, with his own hand . . . planted me here, where, by his grace, in this part of his Vineyard, I grow. . . . And here I will abide, till the great Master of the Vineyard think fit to transplant me. (Letters of Samuel Rutherford, 93)

Our own desires to leave, change, move can tempt us to similarly live lightly upon the soil, our soul a tumbleweed rather than a tree. Stacks of boxes still packed may line the walls of our hearts as we hesitate to settle into this place, hoping instead we might leave soon.

In our case, of course, we really might leave soon; so far as we know, God has not given us a seventy-year sentence here. But could it be that our reluctance to treat this place as home keeps us from finding here the home we could? Might our desire for elsewhere become a self-fulfilling prophecy, a spade that continually digs up the ground and keeps us from gripping the soil here?

One day soon, we will wake up in the place we have always longed for, and we will live there forever. But for now, dear Christian exile, trust the wisdom of your Master gardener. Unpack the boxes. Stay and make disciples. And love this place you want to leave.

Luca: My story is a bit longer. Both of my parents are from Torino and when they got married, they moved to the United States for five years. Then, they went to Copenhagen where my brother was born followed by Lisbon where I was born. From there, we moved to Madrid and then lived 9 years in Brazil. In 2001, we moved back to Italy. In 2013, I moved to Australia for one year and in 2017, I moved with Sara to the American continent where we traveled for about three years.

When I met Luca and we started traveling just short-term, one place we went to was Nepal. People there were so happy without having anything. It was then that I thought that maybe I was doing something wrong with my life.

Luca: In my case, I think that my priority was not my career. I wanted to continue traveling and explore. Because I grew up the way I did, it was hard to stay in one place. When I met Sara, I told her that I wanted to go to North America and keep traveling.

Luca: For the Italian passports, there were two countries that allowed us a working/holiday visa: Australia and Canada. I already was in Australia with a 12-month visa, so when we started the trip, we went for the Canadian visa. It was amazing to start the adventure with this kind of visa.

Sara: I can tell you that when we bought the truck, we asked the owner what he thought about our plan to drive to Alaska and explore Canada. He doubted it and told us that we could try. The rest is history!

After a year and a half of making videos full-time. In the beginning it was difficult because we were working so hard and with no return. Everybody told us that it was a failure, and we would not achieve the success that we had thought.

Luca: I think that the only downside is the cyberbullying. Sometimes it can put you on the dark side, but you learn to think only positively and ignore those types of comments. It is good to have a network that supports you. We really feel that.

Sara: We were lucky because we were able to complete our mission to travel from Alaska to Argentina and reach Ushuaia (the end of the Pan-American Highway which is 19,000 miles long). However, we had to remain in a police camp for two months.

Luca: In the three years of travel, we met so many other YouTube travelers. We interviewed some who were stuck in other parts of the world and made a series of videos. People did not know what was happening with travelers and governments seemed to only be concerned about their citizens.

Luca: Unfortunately, van life is not very easy in Italy. Vans and RVs are not allowed in many national parks. There are more rules, so that is a downside. We have some beautiful national parks.

Sara: I think you are touching upon an important topic. Searching for sponsorship is not easy. We receive a lot of proposals, but we try to only accept what is in line with our vlogs.

We do receive a lot of collaboration proposals from the U.S. but when sending things to Italy there are a lot of fees. Sponsors prefer to send things to content creators in the United States. We have a special niche.

Sara: Yes, we feel that. We are very proud and receive many grateful comments from our audience. At the same time, it was frustrating because we never received the support from the Italian tourism board. We did a lot of content about places in Italy for free so, it has been bittersweet.

Luca: There are things that you take for granted when you live here because you are used to them. However, when you go abroad, you start to miss these things. You then understand why so many people want to go to Italy.

Luca: We gave a second life to our truck that was junk and we did the same with the house because we gave an abandoned home a new life. It would have become a ruin if we had never bought it.

Based in Miami, I am the Editor-in-Chief for Live in Italy Magazine. I am a member of the International Food Wine Travel Writers Association (IFWTWA) and contributor to internationally recognized art; food and wine; and travel publications. In my free time, I love to cook and bake; take photographs; go for nature walks; and run on the beach. I am WSET 2 Certified and working on the CSW. I look forward to getting to know you! Follow Us @LiveInItalyMag ??.

You do a great job and very fun and inspiring. We did a VW camper from Noway to Rome in 1971. I traveled youth hostels and lived with families in 1966. We have traveled much of the world and of course love Italy having been there 9 times. We have traveled to Thailand 9 times. My sister lived in Hawaii 17?times there. We owned thai restaurants with a thai family. Sailing Greece and all over he Caribbean all on our own with friends. Our last boat trip was a year on our own boat doing the great loop. 6000 miles. You can google great loop. I did blog. Now at 78 and 84 we have slowed up. Go when you can. Your daughter is precious.all he best in good health. Will continue to follow you.

In each one of us is a legacy from our parents, grandparents, and those before them. In each one of us are parts of their stories, the best parts of them because they loved us and taught us about God, life, love, and they shared their stories.

I like to think that my parents left the best of them in myself and my sisters and brother. The best of them means a love for God, a love for family, compassion for others, and a sense of humor to carry us through life. Their legacy though started with their devotion to God, and what was in their hearts and how they lived their lives. As their children we were exposed to their lives and their stories every day, and the impact, their legacy is the best parts of them. How incredible is that! I visit their graves, and I place flowers there on a regular basis. It is bittersweet to see their names carved on their tombstones, but it is moving to understand that they carved their names, their stories on my heart way before we carved their names on the tombstones.

Then I think of my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and the legacy they carved on my heart. The lessons taught and the stories told all a part of the legacy they left behind, the best parts of them were carved on my heart before we ever thought about carving their names on a tombstone.

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