Hi!
Actually, qemu-dm has been removed starting from Xen 4.2. That fork was maintained to have some Xen-specific features, and while there are some complications related to why and how it was removed, and legitimate reasons for still using it, it appears that you should be able to just use the proper qemu binaries from now on. If you do run into issues, there is the xen-qemu-dm-4.0 package which should supply an old qemu-dm.
The correct value is then presumably just /usr/bin/qemu, or whatever specific qemu-system-* you want to run.
I did not test this though - please report back whether it works.
For more details, see:
Cheers,
Riba